


Life Is Strange: Withdraw

by Olyaroo



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Alternian Invasion, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Graphic Violence, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olyaroo/pseuds/Olyaroo
Summary: Nathan Prescott and Hannah Crimsen seem like a perfect friends and students to other people, but little do others know that those seemingly perfect students each have their skeletons in the closet.Can they both overcome their struggles, make new friends and heal?
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price, Nathan Prescott/Hannah Crimsen
Comments: 70
Kudos: 20





	1. Other Side

__ _Hannah's point of view_

Hannah Crimsen was standing in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection. Sometimes, she touched her now dyed strands in color of orange.

Ooof, she couldn't believe she really did that. If somebody told her even one year ago that she would dye her hair, Hannah would call that person crazy.

– _Dyed hair is for Chloe_ , – Hannah once told Rachel. – _I prefer to stay my normal dressy self for now_ , – She said and Rachel laughed.

Hannah sighed. _Chloe_ …

Hannah again looked at herself. So much change, even without the dyed strands. And she didn't know how to feel about it.

* * *

– Okay Han, hurry up you dummy, – Hannah ordered to herself, as today she was spending the night at her parent's, but they had already left.

Suddenly, Hannah's phone rang.

– "Hey there Han!" – Hannah heard Nathan's voice with kind and excited tone. – So, you ready?

– Just finished, – Hannah said. – Nate for real, you don't have to pick me up, l have my own car.

– I'm outside! Can't hear you! – Nathan said and Hannah smiled. He sounded so wholesome, much better than yesterday.

– 'Kay, coming! – Hannah said and ended the call. She came down the stairs and unsurprisingly saw a letter from her mother that stated this:

"Hannah. Me and your dad left, sorry for not saying goodbye. Good luck at school and tell all your friends that l said hi. Love, mom".

Hannah rolled her eyes. Usual stuff.

She saw Nathan, and waved to her best friend. Today he looked much happier than usual, and his beautiful smile brightened the sky.

– Wow! – Nathan noticed her dyed strands. – You look amazing! - He said and Hannah smiled in return. They hugged, and Nathan picked up Hannah's bag from her hands and they sat in his car.

* * *

They were riding across Arcadia Bay and Hannah looked out of the window. With a pretty early morning, the town still looked extremely fresh and beautiful.

– Well, how your day with parents went? – Nathan suddenly asked. Hannah was startled, but decided to lie:

– Good, we had so much fun, and yesterday at the evening watched James Bond – Hannah said with a fake tone. She wasn't planning to tell Nathan that the only truth from all this was only that they watched James Bond. Hannah wasn't trying to ruin Nathan's great mood with her nagging about her parents.

– That's great then, – Nathan smiled again, and Hannah noticed that his hands no longer were shaking.

– You finally took your medication? – Hannah asked and her face started glowing with hope. Nathan blushed and slightly nodded.

– Oh Nate, I'm really happy for you. Glad you finally followed my advice. They both now were glowing. Hannah took Nathan's hand and was holding it tightly. Finally. Finally, her friend is getting better. She thought that nothing can ruin this amazing day now.

* * *

When Nathan and Hannah exited the car, they continued to friendly chat with each other, and talking about plans for class.

Suddenly, Nathan's phone beeped. He wanted to ignore it, but it beeped again and again.

– Fuck, why now? – Nathan angrily took the phone out of his pocket, and read the messages that were sent on it. Suddenly, Hannah saw that Nathan's face turned white. His hands began to shake and he began sweating.

– Nate? – Hannah said in a worrying and concerned tone. – Is everything alright?

Nathan turned finally raised his head from the phone, and looked at Hannah, like only just noticing than she is standing there. Nathan was as white as a chalk, and his smile disappeared.

– N-N-Nothing, – Nathan quickly hid his phone. – It's nothing, just stupid shit from some loser, – Nathan said, while he seemed to be extremely afraid.

– Nate, – Hannah put her hand on his shoulder. – If that's only a "loser", then everything is ok, good?

Hannah knew that what Nathan said was bullshit, as he would never freak out by some loser texting him.

– Yeah Han, thanks, – Nathan said and tried to smile again, but didn't manage. He silently began to walk away.

– Sorry Han, l have class, meet me some time after it, ok? – Without any confidence said Nathan and run off, leaving Hannah confused.

– What was this? – Hannah was scared a little, as even she didn't know what's wrong with Nathan. Shit, just as soon as she thought everything will finally be perfect, life is bringing something else every goddamn time. But still, she trusted Nathan, and really wanted to believe that everything is okay, and he is just hurrying to class…

Suddenly, Hannah remembered that she has a photography class now, and her mood got worse. Great, hearing ~~Mr Pedo~~ Mr Jefferson for 1,5 hours… Amazing, just what she needs.

* * *

While Hannah was heading towards the class, she suddenly saw the familiar flashy blue hair. Firstly, Hannah thought that she is only imagining things, but she looked closer to the blue-haired person.

There could be no mistake, as this person was one of a kind.

**Chloe Price.**

Hannah moved closer and called her:

– Chloe!

Chloe turned her head and saw Hannah heading towards her. She rolled her eyes and crossed arms.

– Chloe, what are you doing in Blackwell? – Hannah asked her. Chloe rolled her eyes even harder.

– Look who I'm seeing – _the_ Hannah Crimsen herself, – She said sarcastically. – Why are you interested, Miss Dyed Hair?

Hannah laughed inside. _The same old Chloe._

– Well, l though you were like… _Expelled_? – Hannah asked, but Chloe didn't have any reaction.

– Waiting for someone who owns me a shit ton of money, – Chloe said. – To who, not your fucking problem Hannah. – Fuck off.

Hannah raised her eyebrow. – _Wow, rude much_. But still, Hannah was really happy to finally see Chloe. That was the first time in couple of months they talked.

– So, Hannah? – Chloe looked at Hannah closely. – Are you fucking off or what?

Hannah realized that she is getting nowhere with Chloe, and she is clearly annoyed now, so better leave.

But, when Hannah was going away, she heard Chloe say in her back:

– Hey Hannah, you look like shit, but that new dye really fits you! – Chloe said loudly and began to walk away.

Hannah decided to take it as a "Chloe Style" compliment.

When Hannah turned, she saw Chloe _heading towards the bathroom_ and texting someone. Yeah… It's only a late morning and everything is already weird…


	2. Regaining

Hannah, being a little late, entered Mr Jefferson's classroom. Mr Jefferson looked at her, but didn't say anything about Hannah being late, only asked her to take a seat.

* * *

Despite Victoria calling Hannah to sit near, she sat at a place next to Maxine Caufield, or Max as the whole school called her. Hannah didn't want to deal with Victoria now, not at that weird time and day. Max quickly peeked, and turned away. Hannah waved, but Max didn't return the wave.

This Max girl was hella weird from Hannah's point of view. It looked like she was disconnected from reality with her ancient photography and geeky personality. Still, Hannah thought that Max was somewhat cool. There was… Something mysterious about that girl.

Now, Hannah also peeked and noticed that Max looked more worried than ever. It looked like Max was either high, or completely fallen into her artistic mind, and was detached from now reality. Hannah even begun to envy her a little.

* * *

The lesson was going to an end and Hannah was bored out of her mind. Also, she was worried about Nathan, as he hasn't replied to any of her new messages.

* * *

– Hello, miss Caufield, are you listening? – Mr Jefferson suddenly asked Max and she got her attention, like after she woke up.

Max looked confused, and Hannah saw Victoria and Taylor quietly laughing. Those two look like clowns, especially Taylor, who is only looks smart when Courtney enters the picture.

– Well Max, if you were keeping your attention away from the class, l think you already know that answer to my question, – Said mr Jefferson.

Hannah looked at Mr Jefferson. Mr Pedo, embarrassing his students in the class. He was always getting on Hannah's nerves, so it was no surprise that she wanted to kill him on the spot. Well, no surprise – usual stuff.

Suddenly, Max answered every single question perfectly. Everyone, including Hannah were pretty surprised, especially Victoria, who now was steaming.

– _Ouch, that must be rough for Victoria, she clearly knows the answers_ , – Hannah thought and laughed a little.

– Wow, Max is on fire today! – Mr Jefferson said excitedly. He mostly was charming, but to Hannah he seemed pretty creepy.

– Liar, you yourself wanted to embarrass Max, and now you are here praising her, – Hannah thought. – Mr Pedo is soo aiming at the "cool teacher" vibe – ugh, l wish he was replaced by somebody else.

* * *

Suddenly, the bell rang. Mr Jefferson was talking about homework and the today's lesson.

Hannah quickly gathered her belongings and left, hoping to find Nathan or talk again with Chloe. On the exit, she saw Victoria, preparing to make her move on Mr Jefferson. Ew.

Hannah turned, and was almost knocked out by Max, who basically _flew out_ of the classroom, didn't even saying sorry.

– Well, maybe she has some of her "photography stuff" to do. She is really artistic, much more passionate than me, – Hannah thought and continued to walk down the hallway.

* * *

While she was walking, she was greeted by multiple students who admired her. Hannah was returning the compliments with a pretty smile, while having a lot of her own stuff on the mind. Suddenly, she was stopped by Hayden Jones.

– Yo there Hannah, cool new style, – Hayden said and winked flirty. Hannah just rolled her eyes, 'cause everyone knew – Hayden flits with anything that moves.

– Hello Hayden.

– You saw that blue haired girl around? – Hayden asked. – She looks so cool, is she your friend?

Hannah laughed.

– That is Chloe, you remember Chloe Price?

– Ah! – Hayden said. – That expelled chick who you and Rachel hung out with? – Yeah, "Queen Crimsen" at her finest, always the first with the best quality friends, – Hayden sarcastically laughed.

– Hey Hayden, you know where Nathan is? – I sent him 8 messages on the Jefferson's lesson, and he didn't reply to any of them, – Hannah worryingly said, but Hayden only shook his head, like saying "no sorry".

– Well, thanks Hayden, – Said Hannah and waved goodbye.

Hayden also waved and left. Hannah opened her phone – nothing from Nathan or Chloe, but saw something from Taylor:

 _Hey Hannah, who you sat next to that weirdo and not us? We all know that Max Caufield is just a dumb geek weaboo_.

Hannah only replied with:

' _Kay. Sorry for ruining the gossip trio ;)._

* * *

But, as soon as Hannah hid her phone, a _fire alarm_ went off and everyone quickly left their classrooms to go the school yard.

Hannah clung to the wall, and suddenly, saw Chloe running away. She tried to call for her, but Chloe looked panicked and didn't notice her. When finally, she went away, Hannah was suddenly knocked out by someone.

– What the fu- _Hannah_?! – Hannah heard Nathan's voice.

– Nate! – Hannah excitedly said and Nathan helped her get up. – I was worried, is everything alright?

Nathan was shaking from stress and pain, and suddenly, Hannah noticed his gun in the pocket.

– Nate…Why is your gun at the pocket? – She was confused, and scared a bit. Nathan ashamedly tried to hid the gun further.

* * *

Suddenly, Hannah felt someone behind her and turned. She saw David Madsen - the chief of security.

– Hey Vortex Brats, when it's ordered to leave the school, _it is also concerning you_ , . Keep your loser asses moving. – David rudely said.

– How dare yo-, – Nathan got angry and prepared to complain, but Hannah immediately cut Nathan off and obstructed him, in hope that David wouldn't notice Nathan's gun. Hannah quickly replied:

– Wow, rude much, – Hannah said. – Don't worry, our "loser asses" are moving now. – _Bye_.

David huffed.

– You kids nowadays have too much freedom, a belt as hell wouldn't hurt.

Hannah was holding Nathan's hand tightly, hoping to leave fast without Nathan snapping, but suddenly, he let go and turned to David.

– Well, at least we know now who you were in High School – a sore loser, _that's_ why you hate popular kids so much, – Nathan said sarcastically.

– _Also, we are adults now_ – Hannah added, and turned away.

Nathan laughed a little, grabbed Hannah's hand and they both got away, with Hannah being relieved.

David looked at their direction with suspicions look.

– _One day, I close that Vortex shit down, they are all dangerous and suspicious… Especially the Prescott brat._

* * *

Hannah and Nathan exited the school building, and Nathan started laughing even more.

– You _owned_ him, Han! – Nathan said. – He is an angry boomer, he deserved that… – Ouch, that shit hurts!

Hannah looked at him with a concerning look:

– Nathan… What happened while you were gone? – Said Hannah. – Have you gotten in a fight with somebody? – Why have you brought your gun there?

Nathan looked away.

– It was nothing, for you to worry about, Han - l just tripped and now my leg hurts like shit, – Said Nathan and tried to fake a smile, which made Hannah even more suspicious.

– Nate… – Hannah put her hand on Nathan's shoulder. – If something happened, you can tell. – You gonna trust me, right?

Nathan took a couple of deep breaths, and even prepared to say something, but suddenly, an announcement from the principal sounded:

– _Would Nathan Prescott please come to the front office. Thank you._

Nathan looked confused and quite angry. At that minute, everyone who was at the front yard, looked at Nathan, including Hannah.

– Nate?

Nathan clearly was uncomfortable with that level of attention, and shortly after, he ran off without any words. It was clear, that he wanted to scream at everyone, but luckily, he managed to hold himself.

Hannah was taken aback, but decided not to run after him, and give him some space.

* * *

Hannah stood still for a couple of seconds, and now tried to know what is happening now.

– Shit… Firstly that weird-ass beginning, a fire alarm, an accident with Nathan that clearly involved other person and a _gun,_ and now a call to the principal's office? – This day is getting crazier and crazier, – Hannah was thinking, while walking down the stairs.

* * *

– Hannah! Hannah Crimsen! – Hannah suddenly stopped on a female voice that was calling her. She turned, and saw Emily Montgomery, the biggest eco-crazy girl Hannah ever saw in her life. Emily was sitting at a desk, with some papers on.

– "Save the Sea Creatures" – Emily grabbed a petition list and showed it to Hannah. – The sea and its population is in dander – there are cases of whales dying, and l'm afraid that it will continue... – So Hannah, can you sign the petition?

Hannah peeked on the list, and noticed that there are only 25 signs. Emily looked miserable. Hannah suddenly noticed a lot of flyers on the desk, and had an idea.

She took a pen from Emily and signed the petition up. Suddenly, she grabbed the flyers and began walking around the yard.

– Will you save the sea creatures? – She was saying, holding the flyers and offering it to students.

A lot of students were still refusing, but most of them were inspired by Hannah's kindness, or simply interested in what she was supporting. They began to approach Hannah, and she was giving them the flyers, and shoving them on Emily's desk.

– For all questions, approach our Ecology Club's leader – Emily Montgomery, – Hannah was saying, and some students were agreeing, and beginning to walk towards Emily. Hannah looked at this as a win situation.

* * *

There were at least 20 students, that were sighting the petition. Hannah moved closer, and noticed that Emily's face was now glowing of happiness. She noticed Hannah, and called for her.

– Wow Hannah… – Just wow, – Said shocked Emily.

– Enjoy your signatures, – Hannah winked.

– The rumors were true, – Emily looked at her. – You are truly a kind hearted person, even being in the Vortex Club.

* * *

Hannah waved and walked away smiling. She found a nice quiet bench and decided to just chill, far, far away from everyone. She took a paper book and began reading it. Maybe she can even try to sleep a little?

* * *

But sadly, not even after 20 minutes, Hannah heard something. She raised her head, and saw Dana running towards her.

– Hannah! – Help! – Dana was saying loudly. – Hannah, Nathan is fighting with someone on a parking lot!

– _Are you kidding me, day?!_ – Was the only thing Hannah was thinking while she was running to the parking lot.

* * *

When she reached it, she saw an extremely disturbing picture: some guy was laying on the ground, and beaten up. Nothing serious, as he was preparing to get up and run out of there.

Near him, was Nathan standing in front of some car… _Wait, that's Chloe's car_!

Nathan began to scream to them, and Chloe took off, but Nathan began to run after them, not stopping screaming.

Without thinking, Hannah rushed to Nathan, and grabbed him by the hand, stopping him and knocking him down. Hannah took a brief look at the car, and saw _Max Caufield_ looking at her with interest and shock.

She was in this position only for a couple of seconds and looked at the spot where the beaten up guy was. but he left. Nathan got up and began spitting insults, while doing a laughable attempt to calm himself down.

After some time, they were awkwardly staring at each other. Finally, Nathan decided to break the silence and spoke.

– Thanks for… Stopping me Hannah. – Nathan said, seeming guilty. Hannah only nodded, and without any words, took him by the hand. They both looked at the road Max and Chloe just escaped.

Hannah, despite wanting to be calm, was pretty scared inside. Did Nathan really done all this? No, there has to be a good reason... Right? Or his horrible rage again?

* * *

Hannah and Nathan spent another hour in Nathan's dorm room just chilling and playing games on Nathan's PlayStation. The hour ended on sweet note and Hannah left Nathan's dorm, holding a smile, but her head was spinning.

– Jesus… – Hannah thought, while going towards her own dorm. – That day will never end, right? – More and more surprises every minute…

* * *

When Hannah was already at her room, suddenly, her phone beeped. The message was from Nathan:

" _Thanks so much for chilling with me, Han! You are the best ;)_ "

Hannah smiled and sent a love emoji with a cinnamon roll emoji attached.

She felt so bad, she felt like she was lying to Nathan, because now, she was scared for that guy Nathan had beaten up and a little of Nathan himself. His rage was too out of control.

Suddenly, she saw Chloe as her contact next to Nathan. She looked – the last message for Chloe she sent was _6 month ago_ … Yeah, the magic of time.

Hannah, not expecting anything, made another attempt to message Chloe, and at least talk about that… Situation with Nathan's horrible temper:

" _Talk?_ " – Hannah wrote.

Suddenly, _she saw Chloe typing out the answer_. Oh God, she was actually replying!

" _Sry, not now. I can only do the evening_ ".

Hannah wrote:

"' _Kay_ , _the evening of 10pm will do_ ".

" _Cool._ _ **Our special place**_ _?_ "

Hannah freaked out a little, but still replied:

" _Will do. So, our special place at 10 pm_ ".

" _Bye, Dyed Hair :|_ ".

_”NO EMOJIS!”_


	3. Lost And Found

At 9:30pm, Hannah sneaked out of the dorm and got in her car. She was extra nervous and thought reconnecting with Chloe will not be easy, because… It's Chloe, after all, it was never easy with her.

Hannah took a peek on the right, and noticed _the park_. Hannah got thrown into nostalgia. Yeah… So much time had passed since that day that had forever changed her life…

* * *

_Flashback_

_– That day was promising nothing special – l just sat in the park, trying to take off some stress from my music class and did a pathetic attempt on smoking that shit Nathan gave me. – Yeah, l looked like Sandy from Grease that time, just much more miserable. Soo not my style._

* * *

_– Suddenly, l heard the familiar voice:_

– Is that Hannah Crimsen smoking pot I'm seeing? _– It was Rachel Amber, looking perfect, as always._

 _–_ Hey Rachel… _– I remember myself being really uncomfortable talking to her._ _– Despite that we both were hanging out at Vortex Club, we rarely talked._ – _I actually thought that Rachel was really… weird. Don't know why l thought that, but l still did._

– Is Rachel Amber herself I'm seeing? – Hey Rachel, and no, I'm not smoking, only… Trying to.

– And how's the new experience? – Does the "School's new Angel" actually turned bad?

– The "experience" sucks, can't understand why people like this garbage, – _I threw away the pot, and prepared to walk away. Suddenly, Rachel stopped me._

– Hey Hannah, you clearly need some rest – maintaining a 3,8 GPA can be incredibly stressful. – I'm now with a friend and we have some beer with us – want some of it, Crimsen?

– _Right there, l understood that this situation was what l needed._

 _Maybe l could know how Rachel's really like, and realize my stupid teenage theories were just BS._ – _Also, l wondered who was that mysterious "friend" of hers._ – _Clearly wasn't anyone l knew at the moment._

– _Rachel took me by the hand, and guided me, to what seemed to be a platform on a mountain. – Never l saw that kind of nature beauty_.

– Chloe! – I brought some company!

_– Suddenly, a tall and skinny girl appeared, and began critically looking over me. – She dressed "dangerous" and looked like a delinquent, but for some reason, l felt… comfortable around her._

**_– That was the day l met the one and only Chloe Price._ **

_– And since that day, that stupid mountain platform where Rachel brought us together had become our "special place". – Cliché and dumb, l know._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Hannah drove close to that mountain, and signed. That platform and the only flashlight were still there. She texted Chloe:

"I'm almost there, you?"

"Waiting, and you are still as slow as before"

"Also: you better bring some good shit with you"

Hannah laughed, and was going up to Chloe.

– Okay Han you got this, just count to three… You are only going to meet your former best friend, who you were not in contact with for almost a whole year… – Ugh, who am l trying to fool, I'm fucking nervous!

She finally was in the right place. Hannah looked over – it was still as magical as before, just much more mysterious with the evening setting.

– Hello there, – Hannah suddenly heard a voice from behind, and almost got a heart attack. She looked over, and saw Chloe. She breathed heavily.

– Hannah Crimsen, once a coward, always a coward, – Chloe said with a sassy tone and Hannah only rolled her eyes.

– You surely had become much more passive, prep. – That Prescott asshole is sure a bad influence on you. – Where's your old "Hannah" sarcasm?

Hannah laughed.

– Somewhere here, – She jokingly and theatrically pointed at her stomach and began pointing at the random places. Chloe smiled.

– Yeah, you clearly _are_ the old Hannah Crimsen, – Chloe moved a little away. – Have you brought some shit with you?

Hannah hated that part of Chloe. But still she understood, that otherwise, there will be almost no chance in getting her to talk.

– Yeah… – Here, – Hannah uncomfortably handed Chloe a pack of some weed and pills.

– Wow! – That's some expensive shit you've got there, Hannah, – Chloe hid the pack in her bag. – Let me guess – got it from your golden ass Prescott?

– No… – Just Nathan forgot it at my dorm and… – Well, l decided that it would be better to not give him that crap back. – I actually, wouldn't even give it to you, Chloe.

– Hannah Crimsen, you had always been a terrible liar, – Chloe patted Hannah on the shoulder and lit up her cigarette. – How's you looking at the idea of going around the place?

Hannah, being embarrassed shook her head. Chloe offered her a cig, but she refused. For now, everything has been going quite decent with reuniting with Chloe. The best thing, that Chloe stayed as her own self.

Hannah and Chloe were waking, with no clear goal and chatting about life.

– So, the legendary Max Caufield and Chloe Price are finally together, yeah? – Hannah asked.

– Fuck yes. Only now l realize, how much l actually missed her all those years - when reunited.

– Well, Max seems like pretty a cool girl to me, and also - she sooo your type – artistic and weird. – In a cool way.

Chloe laughed.

– Max's the best. – I say she is pretty similar to… _Rachel_. – Only much less stylish.

– Yeah… _Rachel_...

* * *

_Flashback_

– So, you must be the "famous" Hannah Crimsen, right? – _Chloe was clearly curious of me there._ _I peeked, and saw Rachel watching us, like it was some sort of a comedy show._

– And you are Chloe Price, the famous delinquent who got her butt kicked out of Blackwell, am l not confusing something?

– _Yeah, l so remembering myself behaving like an old caricature. – I even winked at Chloe…_ – _God I was a cliché one._

– You got some wild tongue Crimsen, especially, based on your "prefect" reputation. – I fucking love that.

_– I remember Rachel laughing alongside with me. That day, her laugh was the most beautiful thing l saw for a long period of time._

– So Chloe, looks like you and Hannah are going to become amazing friends. – And you know you can trust me. – I have a sharp eye for that.

– Hey-hey, hold your horses, miss Amber, l barely know the Dresses Girl, and you are already pairing us?

_– From that moment, l realized, that l want to be those girls friend. – It was all so weird – l didn't knew shit about them at that time._

– Well Chloe, you are kind of right. – Hannah. – If only you answer my question, you will be allowed to hang out with us.

– Well, l give you a shot – impress me with your question, Rachel Amber.

_– Yeah, sometimes, l was too overconfident… – Only later l begun to regret my attitude towards life and people._

– Okay… – Hm… – Here! – Crimsen, tell me what shape this cloud is, what form does it seems to you? – Use your artistic mind!

_– Rachel Amber, you officially became my N1 in my list of weirdos that day. – And believe that still, no one can top you._

– Well, for me, this cloud looks like a big and a pretty fat violin.

– The best musician in the class at her finest. – I thought you are going to say "gun", and it's clear that it's a gun.

– So, violins for good girls, guns for delinquents?

– Totally. – Yeah Dresses, l begin to like you more and more.

– Well… – Close enough but still great Hannah Crimsen. – Now, l say you are officially allowed to hang out with us. _– Rachel barely kept her laugh, and suddenly, her me and Chloe all laughed._

* * *

_– And just like that, one became three. – Those two girls, just like Nathan made me feel special, made me feel inspired. – And it's the truth, my music peaked with Chloe and Rachel in my life._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

– Hannah! – Hannah, are you listening? – Hannah suddenly snapped out of memories, when Chloe raised her voice.

– Oh sorry, Chloe, l spaced out.

– You high? – Chloe jokingly asked, and Hannah shook her head.

– No, just… – Thinking about the past.

– About Rachel? – Chloe's face changed it's expression to the concerning and quite sad.

– Yeah, so many memories, especially here. – I miss her way too goddamn much. – Chloe turned away from Hannah and lit up another cig.

– Uhm… – Let's jump to another topic, please. – Uncomfortably said Hannah, trying to cover up her trembling hands.

– 'Kay captain. – Said Chloe and climbed on a large boulder. Hannah followed her.

– Well, you asked me to switch the theme? – So… – I see you are still friends with Nathan Prescott the Psycho?

– Hey, Nathan is a great person, actually! – Hannah said, feeling a little offended. – Yeah, Nathan has his… moments, but most times, he is an amazing friend.

Chloe laughed sarcastically, but decided to keep quiet about her "situation" with Nathan for now.

– Well, he definitely has the worst temper I saw in a person ever, and l have to live next to my step-fuck every day!

– Yeah… – Hope David wouldn't give Max any trouble. – I still remember how he reacted when found you smoking – he thought it was _me_ who gave you that pot, because "kill the Vortex brat!"

Chloe laughed even harder.

– Also, Han: thanks for stopping Fuckscott for running after Max. – Chloe laughed. – We would be dead if not for you or Max's geek friend. – I bet 10 bucks he will ask Max on a date after this.

– That's nothing, Chloe. – I promise, l talk with Nathan about this situation and his bad temper.

Chloe rolled her eyes. She looked at the direction of the ocean and sat like this for some time. Suddenly, she said:

– How much l wish that we managed to travel to the past. – You, me, and Rachel, all three, sitting right here, smoking and talking shit with each other… – I will do anything to get those times back.

– I… – I miss those times too, – Hannah said quietly and awkwardly.

Chloe and Hannah randomly decided to shut up, and sat in silence, looking at the ocean.

– Chloe, I missed you, – Said Hannah, finally breaking the silence.

– I missed you too, Hanna-Banana. – Chloe said, looking at some point happy. Hannah tried to hug her friend, but Chloe blocked her attempts.

Hannah and Chloe were talking about their lives, interests and plans. Chloe, for some reason was dodging all Hannah's questions, and asked more about her current life. Hannah looked at Chloe, and felt… Sad? Like it wasn't Chloe anymore, despite that she is real and here, right next to her.

* * *

The girls were hanging out up until 2am, and only with the first signs of blue began wrapping it up.

– Still can't believe we are here, talking, – Hannah smiled. – And, you and Max have finally reunited. – I'm just so happy for you.

– Welp thanks, ex-dresses, – Chloe said. – Today l totally have the "Reuniting with old friends" day.

– Listen, thank you Chloe for meeting me here. – I thought you don't want to see my stupid face anymore.

– Well, l kinda missed your stupid face and your shitty humor. – You totally need to meet Max, l sense you will get along.

– Who knows, who knows, – Hannah said with a mysterious tone in her voice.

* * *

When Chloe and Hannah got to their cars, the girls waved each other goodbye. Despite them having a good time, they still didn't know how to feel about this meeting. Because, as they didn't speak to each other for a crazy amount of time, they felt, ironically like complete strangers.

Still, their deep hidden friendship was slowly getting out.

Hannah was riding through Arcadia Bay, and purposely was riding below the sea, to see the true night beauty.

 _– Chloe…_ – God did l miss her so much… – Hannah thought. – _Still the same old unique Chloe – my friend._


	4. New Friend

Next morning, Hannah stayed in bed up until the last possible moment. Everything since yesterday was just _too_ crazy.

Suddenly, Hannah's phone beeped. She overcame herself and lazily picked the phone up.

* * *

_Hey beauty! Runnin' late, huh?_

_Dw Han, l got your back. This fatass English slob trusted me immediately, so you are safe ;)_

_Also: saw you exiting the building at 9pm. Glad you and Nathan took at on the next step 3_

_And also: hurry sista! You will miss the interesting stuff._

_Xoxo Victoria)))_

* * *

Hannah rolled her eyes and finally got up. She quickly got dressed and looked at the clock: dear god, **11:30am**!

She basically flew out of the dorm and rushed to the lesson. Yeah, Victoria covered her, but that doesn't make the other lessons disappear!

* * *

 _– Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,_ – Hannah was thinking, and she, not keeping her head on track, suddenly bumped into someone.

– Oof, sorry… – I think I'm flying in my own world right now, – Hannah was trying regain consciences, with holding her head. She finally raised her eyes, and saw Max Caufield, standing there, looking really confused.

– Caufield? – Hannah raised her eyebrow. – Well, skipping much?

– Just like you, Hannah, – Max said and randomly shut up. Hannah shut up too, because she was confused on what to say to Max.

Two girls were awkwardly standing across from each other for a solid minute, until Hannah finally spoke up.

– So… – Some crazy yesterday, yeah? – Hannah "joked". Max breathed in. She was pretty cautious around Hannah, as she had a reputation of being Nathan Prescott's number 1 protector.

– Yeah… – Was all Max could say, before she turned away and began to walk away from Hannah. Hannah looked confused and followed Max.

– Nate was practically spitting venom in you yesterday, – Hannah said and it got Max's attention. – What did you even do to him?

– Well… – I kind of snitched on him for… – Doesn't matter, – Max replied and slowed down. – I don't have time to explain.

Hannah let out a small and clueless laugh. Yeah, she truly had no idea what had happened.

– Yeah, you were pretty unlucky l say, – Hannah said, with concern for Max. – Hope you are okay after… – That incident with Nathan. – Sorry about that, by the way, Caufield.

– That's okay, not your fault. – You and Warren actually saved me and my friend's asses, – Max said quietly and awkwardly.

The girls walked together for some time, and didn't say a world to each other. Hannah looked over and saw Max's face. She realized, that Max was clearly uncomfortable with her.

* * *

They exited the school, as it was clear that they will ditch the remaining lesson, and go to the next one. Suddenly, Hannah stopped and looked at Max.

– Hey, Max, l just remembered what l wanted to ask you. – Hannah said with a pretty smile, hoping to make Max talk.

– Yes?

– You know, yesterday… – Or l can easily say – today, l was chilling with Chloe. – Hannah said and Max raised her eyebrow.

– Chloe was hanging out with _you_? – There was a clear doubt in Max's tone.

– Yep. – Aaand… – I say most of the time, she was talking about you, Max. Max was looking at Hannah over and over. Suddenly, she said:

– Hannah… – Can l take a pic of you?

Hannah looked at Max and raised her eyebrow. This girl was even weirder than Rachel, but for some reason, Hannah felt… _Safe_ near Max. This girl reminded Hannah of Nathan – exactly the same level of social awkwardness and detachment from reality.

– How can l refuse? – Hannah said and posed. Max took out her Polaroid and took a photo.

The photo came out, and it looked pretty cute, but was a little "old school".

– Thanks Hannah, you look… – Like a million dollars, – Said Max and hid her camera away.

The girls awkwardly laughed, but Max quickly shut up again. She put the photo in her bag.

– So Max, – Hannah said. – If now we have the same friend, do you want to chat sometimes?

Instead of replying, Max shook her head and suddenly, she turned and walked away from Hannah.

– Uhm… – Sorry, l have classes. – Max quickly ran off and left the confused Hannah standing near the bench.

 _– Han, you are the biggest idiot on planet Earth,_ – Hannah was thinking. – Ugh, l knew that l needed to leave her alone!

* * *

This whole talk felt unnatural and stupid. Hannah felt stupid and shallow, for allowing herself to be so pushy.

She got to the class, and couldn't stop thinking about Max and Chloe. She barely listened – Victoria even threw a paper at her, that stated:

_"Han, are you high? You look like a fucking zombie today"_

– Miss Chase, please do not disturb the class! – Ms Grant, the math teacher said. – That's enough that l had to take your phone away, please do not disturb the other students. Victoria only mumbled a fake "sorry". Still, it was a good wake-up call for Hannah, and she want back to solving math.

* * *

When math finally ended, both Hannah and Victoria went to the lockers together.

– Really Victoria, you saved my butt from that angry English "mob" teacher. – Thanks, – Hannah said with a fake nice tone. She knew it would get Victoria in a good mood – she so enjoys being praised.

Victoria laughed.

– Well, you owe me now, prettyface, – Victoria winked and Hannah rolled her eyes. Ugh, she can be pretty annoying sometimes (or all the rime, if you are the "wrong" person).

When they were standing near their lockers, Victoria got into Hannah's face about her nightwalk:

– Really? – No "hot night" with Nathan? – Victoria sighed, sounding pretty disappointed, when Hannah told her the truth about her night runaway.

– I was kinda hoping you two finally smash or date already. – All this cute cuddling and sleepovers has gone on forever. – Seriously guys!

Hannah rolled her eyes even harder.

– Who will be perfect for each other? – Hannah suddenly heard Nathan's voice. Victoria turned and winked.

– How are my favorite girls doing? – Nathan jokingly asked and Hannah waved.

– Kinda good, except for the time when l had to cover up for our Nintendo girl, who overslept to 11am, and when she was acting like a goddamn zombie on the math.

– Ugh, Victoria, when will you stop make fun of my 3ds? – Hannah acted a little offended. – My 3ds is my **life** , and you know that!

Victoria let out her favorite "posh" laugh, and they all laughed like that, even Hannah.

– Well, l came here to collect you, – Nathan said. – "Cola time", remember Han? Hannah nodded, and prepared to leave.

Victoria winked again.

– Okay, you go have fun, but l've got a photography assignment to study! Hannah knew it was bs, as most of Victoria's assignments are done by her "slave" – Courtney Wagner. Hannah turned, and saw Victoria giving her the sign of luck and love. She rolled her eyes and focused her attention on Nathan.

On the way to the benches, Hannah suddenly received three messages: 2 from _Max Caufield_ and the other one from Chloe:

* * *

_Max:_

_Hello Crimsen. Sorry for running off, l behaved like a complete asshole. Sorry._

_Chloe promised to collect me in the middle of the day, hope we meet again._

* * *

_Chloe:_

_Haha. Max just told me how you both were complete losers who didn't know how to talk. Se, l told you you'll both get along. In the noon, l'm going to take Max with me and save her from those boring-ass lessons. You comin' with us?_

* * *

Hannah had a good laugh, and typed in the answer:

_Will do. Not now though, can't ditch Nathan. See ya ))_

Nathan suddenly came back and looked over Hannah's shoulder.

– Who are you texting? – He asked.

– No one. – Just some girl on the internet, – Hannah quickly said, and Nathan shrugged it off.

After some more time, Hannah saw Max exiting the building and waved to her. Max returned the gesture – it looked like she was embarrassed of her actions this morning, but still – it can be anything else.

Nathan immediately looked who has Hannah's attention and noticed Max. Nathan raised his eyebrow. He still had to got to the lessons, so he ignored the signs.

– Thanks for the time Han, – Nathan patted her on the head and left, while he glared at Max on his way.

* * *

Hannah's phone beeped. It was Chloe.

_I'm here, see you both right now_

Hannah got up, and saw Max awkwardly standing near, clearly being either shy or embarrassed.

– Hey Max… – Hannah said, but Max only waved again and want to the direction of Chloe's truck. Chloe was already smoking, and signaled them.

– Well, well, well, – Chloe sarcastically said. – I see you two losers got familiar with each other.

By these words, Max became red and Hannah also a little.

– Okay lovebirds, get in, – Said Chloe, and both Max and Hannah got in. Hannah decided to sit in behind seats, while Max and Chloe took up the front.

– The next step is the rock beach, prepare! – Chloe declared and hit on the gas with double force. After this, her truck, by the couple of sends, drew on the light speed and all girls inside were talking.

Chloe managed to low her speed, and now, the truck was slowly riding across the road to the "rock beach". Hannah noticed Chloe and Max holding hands and genuinely smiled.

– Hey Hannah, l wanted to apologize in person now for… – How l acted this morning, – Said Max.

Hannah just laughed.

– No worries Max. – She said. – I get it, and l get you, so everything is cool now. Chloe nodded in approval.

– So, no snotty fucking drama anymore? – Cool! – Said Chloe excitedly, and suddenly stopped the truck.

– We are here, – Chloe said and the girls got out.

* * *

After some intense rock climbing, they managed to get to the best part of the "rock beach". They sat around, and Chloe even brought some wine.

– So Hannah, l'm safe to say that you are a 10/10 fashion model, or the least – a photo model. – That pic was the coolest, – Max told Hannah with a smile. Chloe patted her on the shoulder and whispered something funny, as Max laughed.

– Well… – I've got a 10/10 quality experience with photoshoots, – Said smiling Hannah, while still trying to resist Chloe when she was offering (or forcing) some booze into Hannah, but Max stopped her.

– So, Max Caufield… – No plans to upgrade your camera? – Hannah said, with Max rolling her eyes.

– My little camera is my baby. – To hell l'm replacing it.

Chloe side pushed Hannah.

– Well, our Mad Max has the camera as her baby, Hanna-Banana has her "console" as hers. – That leaves me… – My weed as my kids.

_The trio died laughing._

After some time of hanging out, Max took Hannah aside, and whispered:

– You know, "Hanna-Banana", l never actually thought that members of the Vortex Club can be anything than toxic. – Well… – I think you are beginning to prove me wrong. – Max patted Hannah and got back to her place on Chloe's knees.

Hannah looked over at Chloe and saw couple of small gestures aimed towards Max. With Max by her side, Chloe looked and felt... Calmer. Hannah didn't know what magic Max used, but, with her by Chloe's side, Chloe was clearly a little more nice.

– She is really a " _Wizard Max_ ", – Hannah thought and got back to chatting over with Max and Chloe.


	5. Desperate Mind

_Nathan's point of view_

Nathan was sitting behind the school, and looking at his phone, waiting for Hannah to answer. It was a 6th time he called her, but the calls were left without any reply. Nathan breathed in and put the phone away after the 7th try. He breathed in again, and took out some hard drug pills.

While taking them, he looked over to the yard, and saw a lot of other students friendly chatting, sitting by themselves and doing something stupid, like reading some sci-fi nerdy books.

 _– Who the hell even reads that 3_ _rd_ _class nerd shit anyway? – Want to seem a smart one, read some quality literature, you losers,_ – Nathan said to himself, while continuing to swallow.

* * *

He was on his third pill, when he was suddenly stopped by a security guard.

– Mr Prescott, what are you going? – The guard shocking said, when he saw Nathan. Nathan raised his head and noticed him too. He quickly grabbed the pills and began breathing heavily over someone standing close.

– Mr Prescott, follow me to the Principal Wells' office please, and I'm confiscating your drugs, – The guard said, but Nathan got up and screamed:

– Fuck off, pig! – Nathan screamed and left, ignoring the guard's complaints.

– I will launch a formal complaint, Mr Prescott! – The guard attempted to stop Nathan, but only made him angrier.

– You can try, bastard and say goodbye to your job, – Nathan said and angrily walked away. The guard realized reporting him for drug use is pointless.

* * *

 _– Fuck, now l can't even calm myself properly, and goodfuckingbye my safe space,_ – Nathan was mumbling while walking away. – _Stupid math test, made me stressed_.

Nathan was miserable in finding more ways to calm down. He even tried Hannah's method – nothing worked.

* * *

– And l just **had** to forget my mp3 at my dorm!– He loudly said. Even more loudly than he should had, as he immediately caught some stares from people around.

They were staring at him and some glasses guy even gave a screw-loose sign before turning away. Nathan became infuriated, and out of spite, he gave the guy an extremely strong shoulder bump, before leaving really fast and mumbling _"loser"_ under his nose. The guy even fell on the ground.

– Geez, what's that guy's deal? – People quietly whispered to each other, and helped the guy get up. Nathan gave the group a middle finger, not even facing their direction, hoping they don't notice that he was shaking.

– _Fuckers_. – He thought, while going forward, although deep inside he knew he was wrong in this situation. He took another couple of breaths, hoping that he stops shivering. Yeah, three pills at one time is no joke.

* * *

Nathan got to his dorm and locked the door. He thew his backpack on the other side of the room, with the study books flying out of it.

– Fuck you school! – He screamed.

He sat at his desk and took his precious camera. Nathan looked at the recent pictures he took with a smile, even though most of them were dark-themed ones. One of those pics was a picture of that Max Caufield, that recently scored a place in Nathan's "kill" list.

– I will so add blood on the photo of that bitch this evening, especially after that shit with Hannah, – Nathan said to himself and spend some other time going through the photos. _Who knows, maybe today that photos are going to be good enough for Mr Jefferson?_

Nathan decided to skip Science and Geography and tried to write something in his diary, only noticing there was two pages left. The rest of the pages were filled with only one phrase, written in messy, big letters:

**I HATE MY LIFE**

Nathan again wrote the same phrase with his shaking hands. He took another pill. At this point, drugs replaced his blood. Suddenly, his phone beeped. He took it – maybe Hannah?

It wasn't Hannah, but Nathan still smiled – Victoria.

* * *

_V: Hey Nathan! Hope your math test gone well and you receive the highest mark. Those loser teachers better give you it ;)_

_Hope you are okay. Sorry, don't know where Hannah is rn, but if you need help, you know where to ask it. Also: the photography lesson is going to be pretty soon – don't be late!_

_Xoxo Vic )))_

* * *

After this message, Nathan felt a little easier. _– Victoria… – You always know how to cheer me up, you wizard,_ – He laughed and looked at the phone again. A message from Han – bingo!

* * *

_H: Yo… Sry for not responding, was busy. Hope you nailed that math test, btw_

_N: Thanks Han_

_H: Sorry again for ditching you, Nate. I buy you something on my way back, ok? And, the "Call Of Duty night" is still fresh and going strong, so get ready to be crushed!_

_N: Buhaha, like you manage to do that. ;)_

_H: Ha-ha, you're right. Byeee my cinnamon roll )))_

* * *

Nathan breathed in. On the remaining time, took some meth, and smoked it, while laying in bed.

Suddenly, the bell rang. Nathan got up – his head was spinning from the number of pills he took, but he still grabbed his camera, hoping to catch Mr Jefferson before his class.

* * *

– Hello Nathan, – Nathan suddenly heard a voice behind him and saw Mr Jefferson. He almost jumped from shock.

– Oh, sorry Mr Jefferson, l brought you out some of my new photos… Hope you like them, – Nathan said with a timid tone. Mr Jefferson smiled and took Nathan to the now empty classroom.

Mr Jefferson was looking over Nathan's photos, regularly commenting on how they were really decent. Nathan was almost glowing of excitement. Mr Jefferson suddenly focused a lot of his attention on Max's photo, but Nathan ignored it.

– You are getting better and better Nathan, – Said Mr Jefferson and looked at him. And despite that his voice sounded kind, _his eyes were completely hollow_.

– Still, you have the ways where to grow, – Mr Jefferson said. – But l say that this photo of Max Caufield is one of your best examples. With these words, he copied the photo on his flash drive and hid it.

Nathan breathed in, enjoying the praise.

– Thank you, Mr Jefferson, – Nathan said, not even trying to hide the excitement. Jefferson, on the other hand, looked disinterested.

Suddenly, the bell rang again, and the class started to get filled with students. Nathan took his seat and saw Victoria, who sat next to him. She friendly waved, and Nathan returned the gesture.

* * *

The lesson passed pretty normally. When it finished, Nathan exited the class, hoping to find a place to smoke before Hannah arrives.

 _– Yeah, today Hannah so has a "skipping school" day,_ – Nathan thought.

* * *

While he was walking across the hallway, he saw how a lot of people were staring at him, sometimes with fear in their eyes. Nathan seemed to ignore them, but it was only an act.

Nathan got on the roof and hid in the place where him and Victoria always hang out. He lit a cigarette and began smoking it. He also took his mp3 and turned it on.

– Fuck the headphones, you are the only one here, Nathan, – He said to himself and played his music – the classical violin music, around the whole school roof.

Nathan looked over. The whole Blackwell, including the yard was under his eyesight. The view there was always incredibly beautiful, but he didn't care. He leaned towards the roof door and finished off his cigarette.

Suddenly, he got a message from his father. Nathan was conflicted in opening it up, but did it anyway. That's what his father wrote:

* * *

 _D: Hello Nathan. l was just informed by Principal Wells that you were caught_ _**taking goddamn drugs** _ _on the school grounds. I'm really disappointed in you._

_Don't you dare to tell me that anyone else from the students had seen you._

* * *

Nathan's heart immediately sank.

– Shitshitshit… – He began breathing heavily.

* * *

_D: Of course, l spoke to Wells, and that bastard guard is sure will be fired and the case will be erased, but how dare you put your reputation, the Prescott's family reputation on the line?! Nathan, if you ever do an outburst like that again, l promise that l'm taking you home. The dorm kids are a bad influence._

* * *

After reading this message, Nathan felt a little numb, but nothing else. Just a stupid rant from his asshole dad, nothing new.

– Like he ever does anything to me, – Nathan kept reassuring himself, while going down from the roof. Deep inside, he understood that everything wasn't so easy, and his father can always punish him.

And boy, does his dad can punish properly...

* * *

He finally locked himself in his freaky clean dorm and even loaded the door with some of his stuff.

Nathan felt more and more numb, maybe it was drugs. He fell on his bed, his head was kept straight, and he was looking at the celling and tripping away from his nightmare thoughts.

He took out a pen and wrote "I hate my fucking life" on his wrist, but immediately erased it.

– No, Nathan, this is wrong. – Get your shit together man, – He ordered, but his body was too stubborn and over-stressed. Yeah, in this round, Nathan's drug-influenced body and brain had won.

He got up and looked over at his medicine again. He felt horrible, by even remembering it existed.

– _Nathan, everything is fine. – You are fine. – Jefferson said you don't need that shit, and he is right..._ – _They bring me nothing but a fucking death headache a whole day,_ – Nathan was worrying. Only yesterday, he lied to Hannah about taking his anti-schizophrenic and anti-depressant medication, and still felt a chunk of guilt.

– _Hannah here trusts me, and believes that I'm actually taking that shit, and l do this to her_. – Nathan thought and took a couple of short breathes again.

He tried to distract himself by listening to the music through the headphones. On one time, Nathan thought he was going crazy – **he actually sat and prepared to do his homework**.

He was sitting at his desk, thinking about that task from math and was listening to his mp3. Suddenly, a shred of light fell on Nathan's face, when one of his black curtains opened.

– _Ugh shit_ , – Nathan annoyingly tried to close it again, and at some point, was forced to look outside. Suddenly, he saw something that blew his mind.

It was _Hannah_ sitting on the bench, next to _Max Caufield_ – that annoying, whiny snitch, who got Nathan in trouble with the principal!

Two girls were sitting and seemingly had a friendly chat. Hannah didn't even texted Nathan that she was now back on campus!

 **– The fuck?!** _– Was all that Nathan managed to think when he saw that weird scene._


	6. Alone Without You

Nathan was still glued to the window, looking over Max Caufield and Hannah. He was extremely high after the horrible number of drugs he took.

Max and Hannah finally stopped talking at that place, they then got up and left. He couldn't see their faces or expressions, but they were walking together and that they were close. Nathan didn't understand their body language or something else people display, so he gave up.

He let out a couple of short breathes, and sat on his bed, looking over his favorite photo with him and Hannah.

– So much time has passed from that moment, – Nathan thought and leaned over the wall while sitting. He closed his eyes.

* * *

_Flashback_

– _It was a regular day in Blackwell. Me and other brain-dead idiots from the Vortex Club were sitting at the dining table, chatting and waiting for Victoria or Rachel to finally show up. Suddenly, Vic entered the dining hall and approached our table with some girl._

– Hey there guys, l brought you my new friend. – Meet Hannah, she is the one l was talking about. _Hannah waved quietly and took Rachel's chair._

– Hello everyone, my name is Hannah Crimsen. – l'm the new one here in Blackwell.

– Wow Vic! – You have some good eye for the right girls!

– Welcome Hannah!

_– She was clearly confused, but kept on a big smile. – From the first glance, Hannah was pretty, but dressed extremely weird – she was wearing some weird long white dress in a style people call a "boho", she had her bag decorated by some random hippie stuff (luckily, no fucking stickers), and was wearing tall boots - she was showing a lot of "not like the other girls" vibes._

– So, you are the new girl, right? – Said Zachary.

– Yeah, my first very first day here. – Blackwell freaking rules. – So different from my previous school.

– Oh yeah, you're so right. – Also, Hannah: I want to introduce you to the Vortex gang – there is of course – me, Logan, Zachary, Courtney, Taylor, Juliet, Dana, Hayden and this – this is Nathan.

– Aw, thanks Victoria.

– Hi Test Girl. – As l understood Victoria, l have to introduce myself to you. – Well, you probably know me - I'm _Nathan Prescott_.

– Oh… – Hey there "prob-a-guy-from-a-loaded-family-that-l-never-heard-of". – Your parents are rich, right? – Only rich people assume everyone must know them.

_– Everyone laughed, and of course, l was quite embarrassed and offended. This weird-ass girl just came here, sat at our table and began behaving like she owned that place. At first, l didn't like that, but… – Things change._

– Oh yeah, Nathan's parents are not just loaded, they practically own the entirety of Arcadia Bay, Blackwell included, – Said Victoria.

– Haha, nice to meet you then, King of the Hill.

– Nothing mutual.

_– Hannah took out her pink 3DS and showed it to everyone. – Some were amazed, some were laughing. – l was from the later ones._

– Weaboo stuff, seriously? _– I wrote a note and slipped it to Hannah. – She looked at it, but fake-smiled to me instead._

_– Hannah continued talking and wrapping everyone around her little pinky finger. The guys seemed to look in her mouth this whole conversation, but l knew it was all fake. Just like l thought she was…_

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Nathan laughed at himself. Yeah, his methods of talking weren't the "best" ones. For real, his social skills sucked. He suddenly laughed much more loudly and randomly.

– "Can't imagine what would the "Present Nathan" had said to Hannah for those words she said to me that day" …

Nathan finally got out from his dorm to find Hannah and hoping to talk with her about Max. He wasn't aggressive, but was questioning himself repeatedly.

* * *

– Why the fuck you are so nervous about that little Twitch-Bitch? – Yeah, everything is fine, you are just going to face the person who set you up and who's you threatened…

– Shit-shit-shit… – Hannah, why you had to hang around **that** particular girl?! – Nathan was thinking and suddenly, saw Max and Hannah, who were now smiling and talking to each other. Max was even showing Hannah some of her photos from her Polaroid, and Hannah looked extremely interested.

Nathan saw it and hid behind the tree. He was really interested and wanted to go and chat with them, but now, he realized that he was afraid.

– Ugh…

He breathed in again. He couldn't believe, that only a year ago, he couldn't talk normally with Hannah as well.

Until a _certain day_ …

* * *

_Flashback_

**– If you stopped acting like a fucking psychopath, maybe there would be no need for doctors and drugs! – WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL, NATE?!**

**– Shut up! Don't you treat me like l'm sick! l'm not! Shut up! FUCK YOU!**

_*SLAP*_

* * *

_– I still remember that day… – When after some shitstorm from my mom and dad, 'cause l got caught taking energy drinks and drug pills and even got hit for that. – Shit was hurting like hell. – Yeah, what the fuck did they expect after demanding l get straight A++?! – That I, for real, manage to pull it off without the dirt? – Well, they were wrong._

_– l actually gave my ass-father the finger and ran away to the beach. – When l reached it, l went full berserk there - screaming, crying, hitting everything – even the goddamn rocks. – That time, l didn't know how to calm myself, so did that. – It hurt, really hurt. – Maybe my father was right._

_– After that, I was standing for over an hour on that beach, no one still has found me, or maybe no one cared, l thought. – **But l was wrong**._

– **Nathan!**

– _I turned and saw Hannah running over from her car._ – _I blocked her way to get to me, and l remember that l was shaking and crying._ – _Ew._

– Nathan, goodness, are you alright? – Victoria has gotten your message, l will write to her immediately, and-

– NO! – Don't call her! – l can't face Victoria, or my dad in this state… – Hannah, just leave me alone.

_– But she didn't. – Instead of leaving, she stood near me, sat me down and put her hand on my shaking shoulder._

– Nathan, everything is okay, calm down…

 _– Hannah waited and waited, until l would stop sobbing_. _– I looked like a fucking snot-made girl that time – I_ _was disgusted with myself and was disgusted that l couldn't stop crying and burden this poor girl._

– Leave me the fuck alone, Hannah!

– _But, this girl was stubborn af_. _–_ _She waited, as l think pretty long, and then, she **hugged** me. _

– Shhhh… – It's okay…

_– I not only accepted her hug then, but also kind of… – Enjoyed it? – It was weird, l was afraid of any physical contact, but, us hugging, **l felt safe**._

_–_ Nathan, look at me. Take a deep breath and relax. – Shhhh...

_– I guess l began to calm down, and actually followed Hannah's advice. – She smiled at me with her most pure and light-hearted smile and let go._

– So? – Better?

– Y-y-yes, thanks Hannah.

– What happened? – Some fight with your parents?

– Yeah…

_– Hannah looked at me with a serious look, mixed with grief and pity. – Without words, she put her hand on my shoulder._

– Nathan...

– _No Hannah._ – Just… – Just sit here with me, look at the sea. – Please.

_– Hannah put her phone away, and for my surprise, actually sat near me. – She leaned on my shoulder, and suddenly, this cold sand beach turned into the warmest shore. – I also leaned on her shoulder._

_– We sat like this for some time and l, with Hannah's help finally calmed down. – Hannah looked relived, and l was still looking at that mystical, incredible person._ _– Suddenly, l heard familiar sounds, coming from the ocean. – It was **whale songs** – the real whale songs._

– Nathan… – Do you hear that?

– Yes… – Those songs, they are the whales singing.

– Wow… – This is just… – Incredible.

– I know Hannah, l know.

– OMG, Nathan – look. – The whales are visible, here they are!

– Holy fuck…

– _I was blown away – it was the first fucking time l ever saw real whales singing and even being just visible, and l had no real idea of how beautiful and mind-blowing everything would be._

_– Me and Hannah were sitting at early night, on the beach and were pacified with the songs. – Hannah took my hand and l accepted it. – No matter what magic Hannah used, it for sure was working._

– Hannah… – This, you… – You really helped me. – You are just the goddamn best.

_– Those moments with Hannah were one of the best moments l ever had in my life. – When l met Hannah for the first time, l thought she was pretty airheaded and childish with her love for anime and obsession over those stupid Nintendo games. – But, l never expected her to be so… **mature**._

_I felt so horrible bullying and laughing at her, all because of her hobbies and her interests. Just because l wanted to look "cool", just because she was different._

– Hannah… – Thank you so much, thank you… – And, l'm sorry. – Sorry for making fun of you. – l was stupid.

_– She didn't respond, just shook her head._

– I forgive you. – And, thank you too Nathan.

_– I quietly hugged her again and she lit up even more. – That was the day when me and Hannah truly started to become, what normal people call it "friends"._

* * *

– Finally, oh god! – Suddenly, l saw Victoria running towards me and Hannah. – She got our asses up. – Hannah was clearly freezing, so l gave her my hoodie, while Victoria guided us to the car.

– Don't you ever scare me like that, Nathan! – l'm so lucky Hannah has found you.

– Yeah, sorry Victoria…

_– Victoria hugged me and Hannah, and l think, noticed us holding hands. – Well, at least l think that, as she didn't show anything other than concern for both of us._

_– I didn't let Hannah go for the rest of the trip. – Victoria was a true caring superhero – she didn't even told my ass-dad that l was found._

_– That day, l had to slept on the couch in Hannah's house, and that was truly a peaceful night._

_– On the next day, she was knocked over by the temperature of 38,7_ _°,_ _and l was standing beside her bed that_ _whole time – feeding her the homemade herbal soup and keeping her company._

_– We even watched that anime show she was obsessed with – Naruto, or something like that – we both had a good laugh about it. – After that, Victoria and Hayden came to visit and we all had a blast playing on my console together._

_– Hannah was grateful as hell, but that was the least l could do for her._

_– I would never forget that magical day. – All thanks to Hannah, the day that was supposed to be one of the worst, is now forever in my memory as one of the best._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Nathan hated being nostalgic or simply remembering anything lifting from his life. But, when he remembered those moments, he suddenly realized how much he missed those times, those feelings…

While Max and Hannah continued talking, Nathan got away from the tree and decided to just look over to spy on them. He didn't know what he was doing was wrong, or creepy.

Despite his best efforts to remain hidden, Max _noticed_ him and became afraid, _really_ afraid.

Nathan didn't understand her reaction. He meant to at least try to be "friendly" or just wanted to chat. Maybe he would even apologize, but instead, saw how Max was uncomfortable and scared, and it never crossed his mind "why". He got up and prepared to go forward.

Max saw him walking toward them and became fed up with this. She stood up and grabbed Hannah's hand really tightly. They both prepared to leave.

**– No… – Don't you dare to go away Max Caufield! – I want to explain myself, you have to listen!**

Nathan wanted to scream at her, but couldn't get out a word. He hid in the bushes and hoped that Hannah would not notice him. He thought that she didn't, and decided to keep inside the bushes for some time. Nathan lit a cigarette and looked around.

* * *

– For fuck's sake Nathan, you screwed up again…

Suddenly, he saw Hannah waving. At him, with her firm "everything will be alright" pose. He waved back.

_– You still noticed me, Han._

Nathan waved again, and Hannah left, but not before sending him a hugging emoji. Yeah, he hated emojis with burning passion, but that was classic Hannah.


	7. Disappeared Hope

_Hannah's point of view_

* * *

A confused Hannah was walking behind really scared and clearly paranoid Max. All she was thinking about was "who" or "what" scared Max so much?

– Nate? – Bullshit, Nathan was just standing and minding his own business. – Then who? – Hannah was thinking, before Max finally stopped. She looked around and took a deep breath. Hannah raised her eyebrow.

– What the hell, Max?

– Jesus, sorry Hannah… – I, l panicked for a moment and… – That's kinda my reaction. – Sorry again, – Said Max, while looking at the ground.

Hannah decided to brush this moment off, and looked at Max with a bit of concern. Maybe she will ask her later about this?

Max breathed again and seemed calm after that. She turned to investigate would if Nathan follow them. When she confirmed that he isn't planning to, she became relived and turned to Hannah.

– Yeah, I need to come back to reality, – Said Max and they both laughed. Hannah was laughing on what seemed to be Max's silly reaction, Max laughed because she wanted to take off some stress.

* * *

They were walking around the campus and talking, waiting for Chloe to collect Max.

– Really Max, l never expected you to capture such good photos with your instant camera! – Don't they like, have horrible color representation?

Max laughed.

– Oh… – Hannah Crimsen praised me? – Now l have seen everything.

Hannah laughed.

– Haha Max, last time l checked, my name wasn't Victoria Chase, so… – Why should my praise matter?

– Funny joke, Hannah, you are not fooling me here. – You know, l say your praise matters much more than Victoria's. – At least, you don't go out of your way to bully someone.

They both laughed and continued walking. Suddenly, Max stopped.

– Uhm, Hannah… Max awkwardly said and stared at something. Hannah turned and looked at the same direction Max was looking at. Her heart sunk.

She saw _Kate Marsh._ That nice, happy and generous girl, who always helped the school and people around her, was now famous around the whole Blackwell because of that disgusting video from _Vortex Club_.

Hannah turned to Max and noticed the change in her face. She was… _Angry_ and _hopeless_.

– Max… – Is Kate your friend? – Hannah asked and Max slightly nodded. Hannah felt sick to her stomach. Every bit of happiness that was between her and Max suddenly disappeared. Hannah put her hand on Max's shoulder and led her away, seeming that Max was heartbroken.

She looked at Kate for the last time, and saw that she was approached by Taylor, who probably wanted to bully her even more.

Hannah took her phone and typed a message for Taylor:

 _Stay away from Kate Marsh_.

Hannah saw Taylor checking up her phone and getting away. She felt a little guilty over being too harsh, but she couldn't react other way. Max seemed to didn't notice the reaction of Hannah, but Hannah didn't mind.

* * *

When the girls sat on the bench, Max swallowed her flowing small tears. Hannah felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown on her. _It was all Vortex Club's doing, most of done by Victoria._

– Uhm… Is everything okay, Max? – Hannah asked with concern.

– It's easier to say no than yes. – After all, Kate is my friend and what happens with her is horrible. – Today, l just saw her get bullied… – All because of that fucking video Victoria thought was "cool" to release.

– Jesus Max, l'm so sorry that happened to Kate and… – That you have to deal with it.

– Not your fault. – This is Victoria and Nathan who are responsible, not you. – Max said with sudden coldness.

Hannah took what Max with a bit of offense, but decided to keep her mouth shut for now.

– I'm trying to prevent people from watching that video and sharing it as best as l can Max. – Said Hannah. – Sadly, the internet is unstoppable.

– Oh yeah, trust me, l know it. – When my dumb pictures taken by Victoria are shared on the internet, not a 30 pass, and l already get a ton of stupid dms, commenting on my "donkey face".

– Don't worry Max, l'm going to have a serious talk with Victoria today. – This has gone too far.

– Please Hannah. – Max said with an almost a pleading tone. – Help Kate get justice, okay?

Hannah nodded. She truly had no idea that that video impacted poor Kate so much. Guilt was eating her alive, and it was one of the times, where she wanted to repeatedly punch herself for being in a Vortex Club. She also felt guilty about Max, who was looking at her as some kind of "Only Hope" for saving Kate and her reputation. The amount of pressure was insufferable.

They both sat at the bench for some time, most of this time trying to shift a discussion from Kate to a different topic and awkwardly talked with one another. That sparkle they had at the start has disappeared. Only cringe and uncomfortable situations stayed.

* * *

Suddenly, Chloe called.

– Hey there, Mad Max, where are you? – I've been waiting forever at a diner with my mom, drag your "rewind-time" ass here!

– Oh gosh, sorry Chloe, l'll get to you now, – Max ended the call, said goodbye to Hannah and left to take the bus.

Hannah waved and signed. After all, they are not friends, they barely even know each other, so why Max shouldn't treat her like that? Right now, she had another problem on her hands – _Victoria_.

**She was angry.**

* * *

– _Fuck Victoria, fuck the Vortex Club and_ _ **fuck me**_ , – Hannah was thinking, while going to her dorm room. When she reached it, she angrily knocked on the door.

– What the hell? – Hannah heard the angry and pitched voice of Victoria, as she opened her door. – Max l swear, if it's your stupid face l- – Oh, Hannah!

Without any ceremony, Hannah walked in Victoria's dorm. Victoria made a confused face.

– Is there something wrong, Hannah?

– Well… – Kind of yes, – Hannah said with seriousness on her face. – Victoria, l want to talk about the Kate Marsh situation.

– Oh shit… – Victoria mumbled. – Hannah, please, don't tell me you also came here to judge me or blame me for that thing.

– Pardon, but _you_ are actually at fault of all the garbage that is now thrown on Kate, so, l'm kinda justified with all that.

– For fuck's sake Han, you are not even friends with that weirdo, – Victoria said, rolling her eyes. – Listen, not my fault that the Jesus Banger got drunk at our party. l just recorded the video, so tough cookies.

Hannah was just blankly looking at Victoria - how unsympathetic she was being, and how little remorse she had shown, so simply decided to not press further. Without saying goodbye or anything else, Hannah silently reversed and left the dorm. And if she turned around, she would see a look of regret on Victoria's face, that she masterfully hid.

_– Yeah right, what Victoria Chase could know about being a victim of bullying? – She never was that victim, only the bully… – She could never put herself on Kate's place… – Like l can._

* * *

Hannah exited to the yard and took a deep breath. She saw Kate walking towards the door and wanted to talk to her.

– Uhm… – Kate Marsh?

Kate suddenly stopped, and Hannah noticed that her eyes wided.

– Hannah… – Crimsen? – What do you want? – Kate said with a tone of anger. Hannah was startled. Kate never shoved aggression before.

– Hey Kate, l know what happened, and wanted to ask – do you need any help?

– _Not from you_ , or anyone from the Vortex Club, – Kate whispered under her breath and Hannah saw small tears in her eyes.

– Kate…

– You don't understand what l said? – Please, leave me alone Hannah. – Can you go bully someone else?

After Kate said this, she pushed Hannah who was blocking her, aside and quickly went inside. She was now crying. Hannah looked at her with sadness.

– _Go bully someone else…_ – Hannah revised what Kate said over and over in her head. She felt a little thrown over.

– Holy hell, poor Kate… – She was thinking while going forward. She still had some time before her music class, so she just decided to take a walk.

* * *

While Hannah was walking, tons of people nearby were saying hi to her, and she was forced to reply with a pretty smile or wave, like nothing has happened.

– _Fucking smile, Han_ , – Her inside voice was telling her. She was in control, everything is fine. She **will** help Kate and she will be alright.

Hannah took out her phone and made a post on social media, addressing what happened with Kate.

 _Please, stop sharing Kate Marsh's video_ – was the last sentence in that post. She signed and put the phone away. Just needed to wait for support.

Suddenly, the bell rang.

– _Shit, the lesson starts now!_ – Hannah spaced back into reality and rushed to the class.

* * *

When the class ended - the students quickly cleared out, even the teacher left. Only Hannah stayed.

She sat on the chair for some time, looking out of the window. She was alone, in this beautiful, orange themed room, full with expensive instruments. Hannah stood up, took out a violin, and began playing.

Hannah closed her eyes, and let all the sorrow feel her. She was playing "Lost Innocence" and her eyes were filling with tears.

She knew Kate also played the violin. Kate… She was so passionate about music and art and now… Kate was just a shadow of herself.

– _Kate, this is for you. – And… l'm sorry._

**And while Hannah was playing the violin, in her room, Kate Marsh was crying and writing a suicide note.**


	8. On The Edge

– You did what Max? – Shocked Hannah asked when Max told her about her little "adventure" with Chloe.

– "Well, yeah"…

– "And? How was your sweet little date? Hope you are alright".

– "I… I don't know what to say, honestly. – Despite _what_ happened, that "date" as you said was… Simply magical".

Hannah gave Max a slight smile. She was extremely happy for both of them. Hannah knew that Max would be a perfect match for Chloe.

– By the way, if you care, l'm rooting for both of you, – Hannah winked and Max laughed. They continued to hang out, and were slowly moving towards the building, as the photography lesson was beginning soon.

* * *

Hannah was a little uncomfortable. She tried to keep smiling and be happy for her new friend, but all that was on her mind was Kate and that disgusting video.

Hannah was genuinely scared about this situation. Kate didn't appear on any of the lessons today, and looked more and more like a shell of herself.

She snapped out and saw Max, who patiently waited.

– Jesus Max, sorry, l'm so not like myself today, – Said embarrassed Hannah. Max only shook her head in silence.

– Nah Hannah l understand you, l also most times walk around in my own reality, so that's nothing new for me. – And, don't we all are?

– Yeah… – _Kate_.

– Hannah, do you mind if l tell you something about Kate's situation? – By the way, it can be pretty… – Hard for you.

Hannah confidently shook her head.

– Anything to help. – Please, tell me everything you know Max, – Hannah almost begged. Looked like she was extremely desperate for the truth.

Max led her away and took a deep breath.

– Hannah, today l talked with Kate and she told me that she was… – Under influence of drugs at that fucking party.

Hannah felt sick to her stomach. All those horrifying images of Nathan, Chloe and Rachel under heavy influence of drugs or overdose were flowing through her mind.

Kate Marsh… So it wasn't _just_ a dumb alcohol recklessness, it was _drugs_.

She barely swallowed that new "discovery" and turned to Max. Max herself looked disgusted by even a mention of drugs.

– Max, are you like… – 100% sure?

– Are you actually doubting me Hannah? – Of course, l am why would l even lie?

– Sorry Max, l'm just too lost right now, – Hannah said with pain and despair in her voice.

– It's nothing Hannah, don't blame yourself for that. – Honestly, you are the least involved one in that shit poor Kate goes through.

– Maybe yes, maybe not... – Hannah said quietly. – You know Max, l was never buying that "she gone wild" bullshit about Kate, but l never thought it would be **that** horrible and deep…

– Yeah… – Said Max, and suddenly gasped and turned around. Hannah got annoyed – Mr Pedo-Jefferson was standing right behind them. She immediately put on a fake smile, while Max was slower.

* * *

– Hello Mr Jefferson, can l help you with something? – Hannah asked, while Mr Jefferson didn't even blink.

– Oh, right. – Max Caufield, as my memory doesn't fail me, you have a photography lesson _right now_. – Care to explain why you are still not in class?

– God… – I'm so sorry Mr Jefferson, – Max said awkwardly and Mr Jefferson rolled his eyes.

– Get moving Max, – He ordered with a cold voice. – And, while we will be going, l want to discuss you photo for the Everyday Hero contest. Max waved to Hannah and prepared to walk away, when Hannah stopped Mr Jefferson.

– Excuse me, Mr Jefferson, but can l talk to you about Kate and… – That video? – I know Kate is helping you in your class, so-

Suddenly, Mr Jefferson rudely interrupted her.

– Miss Crimsen, l think we can find some _other_ time to talk about this. – Now, l have a lesson to teach, – Mr Jefferson said with cold tone, and glossy eyes. He turned from Hannah and walked towards his classroom and left Hannah completely speechless.

* * *

Hannah was fuming. She always hated Mr Jefferson for pretty petty reasons, but _now_! That's some f'ed up garbage.

Suddenly, Hannah got grabbed from behind. She turned, and saw Nathan, who was holding her by the shoulder and looking at slowly disappearing Jefferson. He cleared his voice and faced Hannah.

– Is everything alright with you here? – Nathan asked with concern. Hannah turned away.

– Well, apart from Mr Jefferson not giving a shit about Kate and her being fucking **drugged** – amazing, – She said. After hearing Jefferson's name, it looked like Nathan became smaller from being scared.

He took Hannah's hand and led her away from that place. She noticed that Nathan was clearly high, so she shrugged off his weird behavior.

* * *

They sat on the hallway's windowsill and just looked at each other for a minute. Hannah smiled and put her hand on Nathan's shoulder and handed him a candy bar. Nathan laughed and hid it.

Hannah took a deep breath. This day was becoming more and more disturbing and depressing. Nathan noticed the change in Hannah's face and turned to her.

– Has Mr Jefferson said something to you? – Or was it Max? – Hannah, are you alright? – Nathan bombed her with questions.

– No Nate… – Everything is fine. – _Kate on the other hand though_ … Nathan immediately shut up. His eyes and face, despite a lot of drug influence displayed **regret** and misery. Nathan leaned over the wall, looking at the clouding sky, and the first raindrops began to appear on the window.

– Will that shit ever ends Han? – Don't know about you, but l'm fucking tired of this bullshit happening around. – Nathan quietly asked, with a little of despair in his voice.

Hannah put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head.

– I say… – Never. – We will never be free of this mad world. – And you know… l'm also sick of that.

– Kate… – She didn't deserve that, like at all. – Hannah was talking, not noticing that Nathan was getting more and more sad and miserable.

It was like a word " **GUILT** " was written on his face with a big, red letters. He turned away to hide it tried to swallow whatever he was feeling right now. Hannah noticed that and patted Nathan on the head, which calmed him.

They were looking out to see the outside, and the rain was getting stronger and stronger, now the raindrops were now slamming into the window.

– This day is bizarre, – Said Hannah. Suddenly, Nathan got up and offered his hand to her.

– Well, looks like we are skipping either way. – Want to walk 'round the school together? – Nathan said and Hannah silently nodded. She so needed to take away that garbage.

– _I will help you, Kate. – With whatever cost, you get justice,_ – Was all Hannah thinking about while walking around empty school corridors.

She was uncomfortable seeing the school so lifeless. The atmosphere of despair and loneliness was all there, and with the empty halls added, it was literally suffocating her. While walking, both her and Nathan haven't said more than two words to each other.

Nathan took out a pill, and prepared to swallow it, but Hannah stopped him.

– Nate, please – enough pills are enough. – Look at yourself, you are trembling because of it, – Hannah said with concern, and Nathan shamefully stopped. They were standing awkwardly, and Hannah suddenly said:

– You know what Nate? – This hall fucking creeps me out, do you want some fresh air?

– Under the strong rain? – Fuck yes, – Nathan quietly said, and exited the building with Hannah. Right after they entered the covered staircase, the sound of extremely loud rain hit.

– Jeez, glad we got ourselves covered, right? – Nathan said. There was no one here and they both took a deep breath, while staring at the rain.

 _– I wish this day was just wiped out… – With everything else related to Kate,_ – Hannah thought and zoned out.

* * *

Suddenly, Hannah heard a scream. She immediately looked, and saw people running towards the main roof. Her gut feeling was signaling: "SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED OR HAPPENS!"

Without any thoughts, she grabbed Nathan's hand and they ran towards the roof, under a strong rain, without jackets or umbrellas. It was cold and wet, but nothing mattered anymore.

They were one of the first people there and could look at the cause of such horrible reaction.

As soon as Hannah saw what was happening, her heart shattered at millions of pieces.

On that roof, on the edge was standing Kate Marsh, who looked like she would fall at any moment.

 _ **– NO!**_ – Was all Hannah managed to think, _before…_


	9. Guilt

_ Nathan’s point of view _

Nathan was standing, and looking at Kate Marsh. More and more people were gasping and screaming, while he couldn’t get out any sound from himself. Hannah, who was standing right next to him, looked destroyed. Nathan held her hand tightly to prevent her from running towards Kate.

_– No Han… – I can’t let you to blame yourself for her death… – **This is all on me**. _– Nathan thought and held Hannah tightly.

He knew why Kate Marsh was standing on that roof. It was because of what he did. It was him, all him.

– _Please… Please… – Please don’t do that, l’m sorry…_ – He said inside, but nothing out loud.

The drugs were kicking in. Everything slowed for Nathan, his head went crazy. Voice inside his head was blasting and bashing him. Everything felt like a slow-motion movie.

* * *

Suddenly, everyone noticed _Max Caufield_ , who somehow appeared on the same roof as Kate Marsh.

Nathan looked at both of them. Tiny Max, like a real hero, was putting everything she had to step up and help Kate.

He couldn’t hear, nor understand what they were talking about. All he was thinking about was: “ _Save her Max. SAVE HER_ ”.

The talk between two girls only lasted a couple of minutes, but for Nathan, it felt like forever. And every second of that moment the voice in his head was repeating the same phrase over and over:

“ ** _IT’S YOUR FAULT. YOUR FAULT_**. **_YOUR FAULT_** ”…

Only holding Hannah tightly in his arms prevented him from going full blown nuts, with hysterics and screaming.

Now, not only Kate is suffering, but Max as well. What if she fails? What if Kate jumps?! That way… _She would think she is the one responsible for her death!_ No…

Suddenly, he saw that Max reached her hand to offer Kate. She was looking like an angel at that moment: that selfless angel who put herself behind so she could help the ones in need.

**Kate turned and accepted Max’s hand**.

Max took her away from the edge, and she fell on the roof. Nathan felt like the whole crowd just let out a massive sign of relief. As soon as everyone realized that Kate will no longer jump, Hannah fell on the ground and started crying. Nathan hugged her and cried as well. No one noticed them, as everyone were crying at that moment.

* * *

Max and Kate exited the door to the main yard and the crowd was cheering for them. Kate was leaning on Max’s shoulder and looked desperate.

The security guards, including David Madsen, rushed to help the girls. Kate was crying, while Max kept on a brave face.

Max and Kate were led away, while everyone was looking at the process. Police were called, the sirens were going off, and Nathan was standing and looking at this with Hannah. They noticed crying Victoria and approached her.

Nathan looked at her, and she was covered in shame and guilt. He hugged both Victoria and Hannah, and they three were looking at Kate and Max being questioned by the police. They didn’t say a word to each other, and ignored the cold, strong rain soaking them.

Nathan was desperately looking at Mr and Mrs. Marsh, who stopped near Blackwell and rushed to Kate. They were sobbing and hugging their daughter and Mrs. Marsh was repeating “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Katie!”

– _I’m sorry too_ _Kate_ … – Nathan thought.

* * *

Hannah became visibly cold, and tried to led both him and Victoria away. Shaken, Victoria accepted Hannah’s hand, while Nathan was so thrown off by witnessing what happened, and too intoxicated with an incredible number of drugs that were inside him, that he was barely standing on his feet.

Hannah took him by the hand, and guided both to the school inside.

* * *

As soon as they entered, they saw a crazy picture: students were sitting on the ground of the hallway, crying, or not able to move. Nathan was forced to swallow all his tears and hide all of his emotions.

Not managing to keep standing because of drugs, guilt, pain and unlimited stress, Nathan slowly fell on the floor and covered his face with legs.

– _I can’t believe THAT actually happened! – Everything… Everything was supposed to be different! What the actual fuck me and Jefferson had done?! I almost killed a fucking girl!_ – Nathan was thinking, overwhelmed with despair.

– This… This really happened, – Hannah said with a trembling voice. – Kate fucking Marsh almost killed herself…

– I-l didn’t mean it, l swear! – Victoria started crying. – I never knew that would happen! – Victoria looked miserable.

Some students noticed them and began pointing fingers at her. Victoria didn’t even have the energy to make them shut up.

– Victoria… – Hannah began talking, but Victoria cut her off. Despite the drug and trembling, Nathan put his hand on Victoria’s shoulder and patted her on the head. Victoria was sobbing, and ignoring everyone and everything around her. Nathan was too. Nothing mattered anymore.

_– Fuck everything! – Fuck the reputation, fuck what that fuckers think of you Nathan…_ – He was convincing himself.

The adrenaline from Kate’s suicide attempt and the drugs began to slowly wear off, and was replaced by deathly tiredness. Nathan felt numb, like there was an unbearably heavy weigh that was attached to his whole body.

With Nathan and Hannah’s help, Victoria was looking calm not after so long, but Nathan knew it was all just an act.

_– I envy her a little actually. By how much of a control she had over herself in compression to me. Victoria is capable of playing the role of a heartless alpha bitch who is not harmed by any shit that happens around…_ – Nathan thought.

He noticed that Hannah, who by recent times gave Vic the cold shoulder, was consoling her, like she could actually see through her act.

Nathan meanwhile was too embarrassed to even ask for a hug nor from Hannah, nor from Victoria.

_– You don’t deserve Hannah’s kindness._ – The inner voice was telling him. _– All you deserve is jump off that roof instead of the innocent Kate Marsh. – You bring nothing but pain to people around yourself._

– I know… – Nathan quietly said to himself, but still said it out loud.

His voice was hurt, squashed and pitched because of the attempt cover himself up. Hannah and Victoria moved towards him, and he again put his hand on Victoria’s shoulder.

Hannah looked like a shell of herself. All that crazy experience deeply got inside her.

United, they three managed to calm each other down – Kate Marsh is alive, and that’s all what matters. This thought was everything that kept those three sane in this situation.

Nathan finally got back to the reality, and only now noticed that the hall has cleared almost completely. He, Victoria and Hannah were literally the only ones there.

– Like the people wanted to leave as fast as possible, – Victoria said through her puffy eyes. – Well, can’t blame them – l would also hurry up and leave that shithole.

* * *

Suddenly, an announcement from the Principal played.

– “Good afternoon, l have an announcement to make - l want to see those people in my office: Max Caufield, David Madsen, Mark Jefferson and Nathan Prescott”.

– Holy fuck what now?! – Nathan loudly screamed.

He was on the verge of tears and hysterics: everything that happened today was too traumatic for anyone, especially Nathan to handle, and now, that douchebag wants to put him through more stress? Everyone knows that he will repeatedly hit Nathan with questions regarding Kate’s suicide!

– Nathan, calm down, l’m sure that it would just a couple of questions to find the culprit, – Hannah said quietly and he actually tried to make an attempt. Was not successful, but pretended that it was. 

– Don’t you worry, – Said Victoria with comfort. For her it was clearly hard to even keep a straight voice, so Nathan cut her off and forcibly smiled. Hannah patted him on the shoulder, and calmed down. Nathan shut up, and simply hugged her.

– So, looks like l need to get moving to a fucking meeting execution, – Enraged Nathan said and waved goodbye.

* * *

When he reached the office, he stood in front of the door. He took a deep breath and entered it. He was the last one to show up – inside there were already a police officer, the Chief of Security David Madsen, Mr. Jefferson and Max Caufield.

Nathan took the chair and his anxiety began to rise up. He did his best to cover his nerves, tears and anxiety with his usual mask he always used – the mask of a rich “alpha male” who owned the city.

He thought that he knew Max would testify against him – she hated his guts to the burning passion, so when Principal Wells basically asked Max “who do you think is at fault here?”, Nathan closed his eyes and prepared for shit to go down. Whatever it takes, he must **not** be expelled.

But, Max surprised everyone, seemingly including herself.

– I saw Mr. Jefferson talking to Kate right before our class… Then she ran off crying. – He also didn’t show any concern for her safety, and shrugged it off, like it was nothing, – Max said with a pretty confident tone.

Nathan was shocked and a little scared for and **of** Mr Jefferson. Who knows what he will do?

Of course, Mr. Jefferson attempted to reason with Principal Wells, in his normal kind and “hippie” manner., but he was unsuccessful. Nathan was too afraid to speak up and defend his life example, and another dose of pressure was put on him.

– Mark, you should understand that this is a really serious accusation. – As a teacher, it should be your number 1 priority to protect and guide your student to the right path, and you failed at both. I would have dismissed this accusation, if Miss Caufield here was the only one complaining about you.

– Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one – one of Blackwell’s most honored students – _Hannah Crimsen_ launched multiple formal complaints regarding your behavior with students and your unattendance to them.

Nathan felt like his heart is going to explode – what the hell Hannah got herself into?!

He was sitting there, dumbfounded, looking at this little trial, where instead of a judge was sitting that bought alcoholic principal. The most terrifying thing was… That Max **was right** about the culprit.

Nathan became terrified. What if while this investigation, **_the truth_** will undercover?! _No no no_ … Then Mr Jefferson is going to kill him _and_ Max as well!!

The meeting of suffering has ended, and Nathan didn’t take his eyes from Max. She sighed the paper and prepared to leave. Everyone else also followed her example, and Nathan tried his best to avoid even looking at the direction of Mr. Jefferson.

On his way out, he wrote a small note and slipped it into Max’s pocket. Then, he ran to the boy’s dormitory.

Max looked startled and read it. Nathan wrote only two words with his shaking hands:

“ _THANK YOU_ ”

* * *

Nathan with hardship reached his room and slammed the door. He couldn’t even stand on his legs and fell on the bed. His anxiety, despair, stress and anger raised on maximum level.

He began screaming and crying. He couldn’t even hit the things around himself, that’s how pathetic his body was because of drugs.

_– What have… – I done…_ – He was sobbing. Kate… Why?! Why he did that?!

– All because l decided to be selfish, l hurt a human… – I didn’t mean it, Kate l swear…

Nathan never _ever_ felt that horrible about doing something. Even when his dad was beating him, this feeling of guilt was the strongest in his life. It didn’t matter that Kate Marsh was alive, the only thing mattered is that she was standing on that roof **because of him**.

Because of his illness, he basically forgot how is it to feel empathy towards other people who weren’t his friends. And now, he didn’t know should even he be “happy” about this.

He curled on his bed, hugged his favorite whale plushie and continued sobbing. He felt that after what he did, the only thing he deserved was jail.

Nathan took out his diary, that was filled with the “I HATE MY LIFE” phrase, and prepared to write in it again. But instead of the usual, he wrote:

**I HATE MYSELF**

He looked at his drawer, where was laying Rachel’s bracelet that she gifted him.

– I… I screwed up, right Rach? – He asked the bracelet with despair, knowing that Rachel would not magically appear and reply.

Nathan turned on his music player to calm himself. He also took his phone and saw a text from Hannah.

* * *

_“H: Nate… Are you okay? Do you need any help?”_

_“N: Yes. Please, leave me alone, want some rest for now”._

_“H: ‘Kay. Just remember – everything is okay, and Kate is alive. Poor Victoria though. She blames herself for what happened” …_

_“H: Okay, sorry Nate. Have a good rest”._

* * *

Nathan breathed in and closed his eyes. Everything was spinning, and it was hard, really hard for him to fight this despair.

He always knew that he was useless and pathetic. The voice inside his head was right. He only brings pain to others with him, and now, Victoria, his childhood friend is probably in her room now, blaming **herself** for this mess.

After some time laying on the bed, Nathan got up. The drug effects almost disappeared, and at some levels he calmed down.

He got to the girl’s dormitory, and entered Victoria’s room. To his shock, he saw her crying her eyes out again. He smiled at her, but his eyes showed pain and misery.

She got startled and tried to hide her face, but Nathan sat near her and hugged his friend, without any words – the exact same technique Hannah used to calm him down.

_– I’m so sorry Victoria…_ – Nathan was thinking. Victoria was sobbing and crying and he was holding her tightly. He even tried to put on a brave face for her.

It ended with Victoria calming down. She smiled at him and said:

– Thank you, Nathan.

And Nathan smiled back. They looked out of the window, and saw the most beautiful eclipse in their life. It was bright orange, and the light of it felt on their faces.

– So… – Beautiful.

– Yes…

* * *

At the end of the day, Nathan stepped near Kate's dorm room, that was filled with cards and flowers, mostly the pink ones. He breathed in and put a single white rose under the door. Then, took out a piece of chalk and wrote on the same door. 

**I'M SORRY, KATE**


	10. Recovery

_Hannah's point of view _

Hannah was sitting on the bench all by herself, looking at this incredible eclipse and thinking about today. She breathed in, as everything was just _too_ crazy for the real life.

– I wonder what's everyone are doing right now… – Hannah thought. She felt extremely weird.

Normally, she would go over to Nathan's or chill in her room watching anime and playing video games, but definitely not now. After everything that happened… She wasn't sure how to feel about anyone or anything. _Especially Victoria… And the poor Kate._

– Jesus, why and when life suddenly became so dramatic? – She thought and closed her eyes.

Suddenly, she got a message from Max. Phew finally, just what she needed.

* * *

_M: Hey Hannah… Is everything alright?_

_H: Oh yeah, you bet it is. How's Blackwell's hero doing?_

_M: Well, apart from that my friend almost killed herself and I partly ruined my teacher's career – good._

_H: For real Max, thank you for… You know._

_M: I know what you mean. You know – l actually can see you over there, Hannah. My friend just left and l wouldn't mind some company._

_M: So, join me?_

_H: Fuck yes. Your company is just what l need, so l'm going. Wait 4 me._

_M: :)_

* * *

Hannah got up and saw Max waving. She breathed in and approached her. Max seemed to be pleased and they sat on the bench together. It was awkward for some time until Hannah finally initiated the conversation.

– So… – Some crazy day, huh? – She said with her head lowered.

– At least poor Kate is alive. – After all she went through… – She didn't deserve to just… – _Die_.

– You are a goddamn hero Max, – Hannah said. – I'm glad that it was you who got to Kate.

– Thanks Hannah. – You can't believe of how l'm relived that everything has ended the way it is.

– By the way – Victoria deleted that shitty video of Kate, as Nathan told me, – Hannah said and Max smiled.

– Well, that's good to hear. – Still surprised that the Blair Witch of Arcadia Bay decided to do that, so not her style.

Hannah laughed and turned away from Max. _That eclipse and orange lights again reminded her of Rachel_. She zoned out, charmed by the beauty of it.

– Hey Hannah, – Max called for her repeatedly. – You zoned out a little, is everything alright?

– Jesus Max, sorry. – Hannah opened her eyes, and found herself on the bench with Max. Trying to hide her small disappointment, she smiled at Max and turned to her.

– Sorry, my mind has been going crazy all this day. – Glad that this nightmare finally ended.

– Agree 100%, – Max mumbled. She was still clearly awkward being around Hannah, and she spotted it.

– You know what's weird Hannah? – How do you hang out with Chloe. – You both seem so different.

– You tell me, – Hannah joked. – The little shy artist and the rebellious punk – best friends forever.

Max gave a slight smile. It looked she was happy whenever Chloe was mentioned. Hannah clearly saw that Max loved and cherished Chloe.

– Hey Max… – Thanks for coming back for Chloe. – She missed you like crazy – always showing your photos together and talking about you.

– Wow! – You serious? – Wowser, now I feel like utter shit… – How could l abandon her just like that? – Max said under her breath, hoping that Hannah wouldn't hear.

– Well, you were her whole world. – Basically, she was talking nonstop about eighter you or… – _Rachel_. – Hannah leaned back, and her face was right under the sun.

– Yeah… – She also told me about her. – Said that Rachel was her "angel". – Weren't you both friends with her? – Max asked.

– Uhm… – Yes… – I was her "friend". – We were a truly inseparable trio, – Hannah said, stuttering and without any confidence.

* * *

_Flashback_

– Well Hannah? – Truth or Dare?

– Hmmm… – Lemmie think Rach…

– Haha, it better not be like that time when you dared me to call my mom and sing "I'm a Barbie Girl"! – Bleh, l still have nightmares from this.

– Admit it Chloe, it _was_ funny. – I have your mom's face engraved in my memory forever. – By the way Rachel – l finally got something perfect _right for you_.

– Well Crimsen, show me what you got.

– Okay Rachel… – **I dare you to profess your love for Chloe to the whole world!**

_– I always knew those two were in love, and l adored it. – Rachel was… – Like a sun for Chloe, and my stupid shipping self actually thought that it would "help". – I was so naïve…_

– What the hell, Han?

– Sorry Chloe, it's a dare. – You don't disobey a dare and you know it.

– Wow Chloe, l would love to do that. – Everyone – prepare your cameras and eyes, all attention on me people!

_– Rachel got up to the mountain of abandoned and broken cars and stood there, in front of the sunset, looking like a real life phoenix. – She turned to the sun and screamed_ :

– Hey world, you hear me?! – If no, then listen **– I LOVE CHLOE PRICE**!

– Holy fuck Rach… – That definitely was your best performance.

– Who said it was a "performance", Chloe? – Well Hannah? – Happy now?

– More than you can think. – Okay, let me help you out, you look sort of stuck.

_– Rachel laughed and jumped of the "pyramid", and the cars fell on the ground. – She avoided them all, and Chloe picked her up. – I ran towards her, thinking she somehow got hurt… Only to come for Rachel's hysterical laughter._

– This. Was. Awesome. – Hannah – thank you for this dare. – It was really adorable…

– You are such a dork Hannah. – Why the hell would you do that, it's pure cringe!

– Chloe, l honestly liked it, so we are cool now, right?

– Yeah Chloe, chill out… – Hey girls, check out the final stage of the sunset!

_– Rachel got up and pointed at the sun. – The sunset became even more beautiful – everything around us was painted with gold. – Rachel approached Chloe and hugged her – l swear l could see Chloe blush. – It was so adorable…_

– You know guys – one of my biggest dreams is to see an eclipse. – That full-blown eclipse, like the one in the movies. – I can only imagine how incredible it can be. – I just hope that l would see it when l be **far** away from here.

– Wow… – Great dream Rachel, that is something.

– Yeah… – When we both leave Rach, l'm going get you an eclipse. – Hell, l give you a fucking moon if it makes you happy.

– You are definitely full of surprises, Chloe Price. – One full moon and an eclipse – l'm holding you to that.

_– I laughed. – Everything was way too perfect in my life that time. – And l wish it stayed the same…_

_Flashback ends_

* * *

– Yeah, we were definitely close. – Hannah now said more confidently, and noticed that Max was incredibly shy about something.

– Hey, is everything alright?

– Hannah… – I know that is wrong, and l can put you in great danger but… – Can you help me and Chloe with something?

Hannah became wary and turned to Max. She raised her eyebrow, and noticed that Max looked more and more confident.

– My help in _what_ , exactly?

– **Help in finding Rachel.**

Hannah felt like she was going to collapse. Is that real? Searching for Rachel… And Max is asking _her_?! Her heart was beating so fast, like it would jump out at any moment. Max was patiently looking at her.

Hannah took a deep breath and faced Max. Her face was displaying confidence and full energy.

_– Being a new hero is inspiring for you, right Max?_ – Hannah thought. She was ready to give out the answer.

– **I will help you two**. – She muttered out. – Rachel meant almost everything to Chloe, and now, when we finally reunited – l just want to make her happy. – Rachel was also my friend…

– Jesus thank you, – Max's face lit with hope, mixed with a little despair. _Max was ready to find Rachel, and Hannah had to be blind to not notice it._

– Thank you for trusting me Max. – Even if l'm supposed to be your… What? – An "enemy", l still appreciate it.

– Tonight, me and Chloe plan to break into the Principal's office – to look for clues. Are you with us, or not?

– **Yes l am.** – Send me the message when you be ready, okay?

– Will do. – I promise Hannah, we **are** going to find your friend, l promise. – Max said confidently, and her eyes were glowing.

They shook hands, and Max prepared to walk away. When she was already pretty far from the bench, Hannah suddenly stood up and called for her.

– Max!

– Yes? – Max was confused and turned to her.

– Please, take care of Chloe… – She needs you, and even if we find Rachel – promise me to never abandon her again.

Max smiled through her small tears and nodded. She disappeared in the campus building. Hannah was standing, and looking at her.

She couldn't stand anymore and fell on the bench, looking at the sky, as the eclipse was ending.

– Is that really my life now? – Hannah asked herself. She felt sick to her stomach, only thinking about Rachel, and how Max was describing her. Hannah didn't mind, though.

**After all, it was only her who knew the truth.**


	11. First Memories

_Flashback_

_– Before l knew everything, my rose-tinted glasses were literally glued to my face. – I made myself believe that Rachel was a saint and could do no wrong… – Up_ _until al certain moment._

_– That day, Rachel asked me to collect her from that junkie Frank Bowers – her dealer, that she was visiting for awfully long._

_– l was meant to get Rachel on like 12:30, but arrived much earlier. – That dealer’s RV was in some sketchy place._

_– I was creeped out enough, but there was no one here, again except for the trailer, and Rachel wasn’t showing._

_– I breathed in and rolled towards the trailer. Suddenly, through a layer of dirt on the window, l saw two figures making out._

– Jesus guys, at least cover yourself up _, – I laughed, but suddenly, my eyes focused on the people themselves, and suddenly, l felt vomit coming towards my mouth._

_– **Rachel?!**_

_– My eyes weren’t playing me. – It was Rachel, kissing someone else who wasn’t Chloe. – Wtf?! – Weren’t they dating?_

_– I got out of the car, fuming. – Not even thinking about anything, l stood in front of the door and banged on it._

– Hey, Rachel! – It’s me, Hannah, l came to collect you!

– H… _–_ Hannah?! _–_ Give me some time, I’ll be there soon.

_– I was really pissed, but still wanted to hear what Rachel got to say. – After all, she was my friend…_

* * *

_– After some time, Rachel got out of the RV, looking completely fine, as if l hadn’t just caught her cheating on Chloe._

– Hey Hannah. – You are quite early, didn’t we agree on 12:30?

_– Rachel playfully got into the car, but instead of taking off immediately, l stared right at her._

– Rachel… – What the actual fuck?

– Huh? – What do you mean?

– Oh no, you will not play that bullshit on me, Rach. – I saw how you were smacking lips with Frank Bowers! – Seriously?!

– Can we talk about that later, ok?

_– I looked at Rachel, but she displayed no reaction whatsoever. – She actually rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything. – I took off and the drive was awkward and silent._

_– We both were quiet, but l felt really uncomfortable. – Finally, l decided to try and initiate the conversation again._

– Rachel… – Can we talk about this please?

– Listen Hannah, it wasn’t like that, you got it wrong, l swear.

– Then what was it Rach, huh? – You cheated on Chloe, and l caught you. – So tell me the truth, now.

– Jesus Hannah, l didn’t cheat. – Me and Chloe are not even dating, l can kiss whoever l want, and sleep with whoever l want.

_– To say that l was fucking baffled means not saying anything. – Rachel was cold as a stone, and was wearing a small witty smile._

_– Suddenly, her face completely from arrogant and victorious to pitiful. – **Like she put on a new mask** , and l don’t know about other people, but it was legitimately scary for me._

– Well, Chloe certainly doesn’t think that. – We talked numerous times and she said how she loved you. – I supported it, and l thought you felt the same?

_– Rachel only awkwardly nooded._

– Hannah… – I _love_ Chloe, and **only** Chloe. – Frank is just… – A small fling to get drugs much easier. – Please Hannah, just try to understand.

– Rachel…

– Han, please don’t tell Chloe. – You know how crazy jealous she can get... – Please, l’m asking you on the behalf on our relationship.

_– She had a point, and I began to doubt myself. – After all, l wished all best for Chloe and she was happy with Rachel, so why should l ruin it?_

_– I knew it was wrong, but when looking at Rachel, she was just staring at me, looking deeply in the eyes, like she was saying: “ **don’t tell Chloe** ”._

_– I was so naïve, so dumb. – I should have noped out of there at that right moment, but instead, did a complete opposite._

– Okay, Rachel… – I try to hide your “secret” _for now,_ and still, it’s only for Chloe and just because she loves you.

_– I glanced at Rachel and saw that she, at one moment looked a little disgusted, before putting on a hopeful smile._

– Gosh Hannah, thank you so much! – I guess l owe you my life now?

– Nah, can survive without it. – What l’m asking in exchange – don’t you **ever** cheat on Chloe and **never ever** betray her.

– I think l can manage it. – Thanks Hannah, I knew I could count on you.

_– That was the first red flag. – The paint of my rose-tinted glasses began to wash off – Rachel was treating this whole horrible situation as a small fight at the playground she just won._

_– I haven’t decided on what l was angrier at her, but the only thing l knew – **that now, my trust in Rachel was gone completely**. – She betrayed Chloe, and therefore – betrayed me._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Hannah got to her room and fell on the bed, covering her face with a blanket and drifted into thoughts.

She was questioning herself. What if that breaking into the school with Max and Chloé would be a horrible idea?

– _Why do they even need to break into the school? – What does it has to do with Rachel? – Are Max and Chloe are hiding something from me?_ –

Hannah’s head was blowing up with more and more questions. Jesus, why does it have to be so complicated?

She finally got up and looked at herself in the mirror and unsurprisingly, she was a complete mess. Hannah took a deep breath and changed into the simplest orange sweater she had, not even putting on some more outfit gimmicks, like she usually did.

– I _really_ need some shower and some good bang on my head. – I don’t even look like myself anymore.

Hannah looked over and saw a photo with her and Rachel on the top of the drawer. She took it and breathed in. They both looked so happy on this photo…

– Why Rach… – Hannah asked, like this photo was going to reply to her. – _Why did **that** had to happen between us?_

She breathed in again.

– Ugh, fuck it, – Hannah grit through her teeth and angrily put the photo in the drawer. All the times with Rachel were filling her head.

She slammed herself into her soft chair and looked out of the window, feeling a little miserable.

The time was getting closer to 11pm. Suddenly, Hannah’s phone beeped – it was a message from Max.

* * *

_M: Hey Hannah. You up and ready?_

_H: Oh yeah!_

_M: Me and Chloe are outside, just passed the “drunk obstacle” (Principal Wells), it was a pain in the ass._

_H: Geez…_

_M: We are at the yard rn. Join if you don’t want to miss out all the fun ;-)_

_H: Will do! Save me the seat!_

* * *

Hannah got up and breathed in. Weirdly for herself, she felt excitement flowing through her body, while only one hour ago, she thought of not going!

The feeling of adventure completely erased that feeling of fear. She got out and got to Max and Chloe.

Her heart was beating fast, but not because of adventure that is waiting for her, but because her brain took out the memories that were deeply buried inside.

_Hannah was afraid to even remember Rachel… Especially the negative emotions, but now, she dominated her mind. Like she always had._


	12. The Secret That Should Never Get Out

Chloe, Max and Hannah were standing of a just blown up door to the Principal’s office. Three girls breathed in and entered.

– Remind me, what are we looking for, Sherlock? – Hannah asked Max, while looking around. The office truly looked tacky – Hannah even let out a small laughter, when she looked at one of the office’s “decorations”.

– I try to find Rachel’s and Nathan’s student file, – Max replied and went back to the searching, while Chloe occupied the computer and was also searching for something there. Hannah let out a short breath and joined Max. Suddenly, she found hers and Nathan’s files.

– Max, Chloe! – Check it out! – Hannah loudly whispered and Chloe gave her a thumbs-up.

– Ok Han, get your ass down here, – Chloe said, while angrily looking at the computer. – I think you would love to know _this_ about your BFF Nathan, and believe me – this stuff is golden.

Hannah rolled her eyes and approached her, while looking through the files: “Hannah Grace Crimsen, perfect student, blah-blah-blah, Nathan Joshua Prescott, blah-blah-blah”… Max also approached them with the remaining files. Hannah almost barfed on just how spotless and ass-kissing Rachel’s file was – like she was _that_ perfect. Yeah, dream on, assholes…

Both Hannah and Max gathered around Chloe and looked with her at the computer. Hannah suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Before this, she was one of not many who knew about Nathan’s fake grades and police reports, and felt extremely uncomfortable when Chloe was browsing through it.

– Uhm… Chloe…

– Holy shit is he sick, – Chloe muttered while reading the reports. – You should seriously rethink of your choices of best friends, Han. Hannah only rolled her eyes on this snarky remark. 

– Max, Han you better look at this, – Chloe opened one of the files, that contained nothing but a photo of a picture. Picture, seemingly drawn by Nathan. And the picture looked crazy.

– The fuck? – Max was seriously scared but took a more careful look. Suddenly, her heart stopped.

– Hannah… – Max said, while slowly backing up. – This is not a drawing…

Hannah also studied the photo more and felt cold. The drawing was made from words.

**RACHEL IN THE DARK ROOM**

Hannah backed away and began breathing heavily. What the hell was going on?!

Chloe and Max immediately turned to Hannah, like they were expecting her to know what this “Dark Room” is.

– Guys, l… – I don’t know what the fuck does this mean, I promise, – Hannah began trembling. Max looked at her and turned away.

– Nathan… – What had you done? – Hannah was thinking, while her head was spinning. _What is happening_? No one knew or explained anything to her, she was miserable. Hannah was fighting herself to right away go to the boy’s dormitory, wake Nathan up and ask him about this.

But, deep inside, Hannah was hoping that this drawing is nothing but Nathan’s form of a meltdown, and he doesn’t actually knows where Rachel can be… Or if she even alive.

Chloe meanwhile was now digging through Rachel’s files and reports.

– Hey, what’s _that_? – Chloe clicked on one of Rachel’s files that said “ **Hannah Crimsen Case** ”.

Hannah, after seeing this, tapped Chloe on the shoulder, like saying: “please no…” But it didn’t stop Chloe from reading the article.

This is what was written:

* * *

“With the accusations made by Hannah Crimsen and Nathan Prescott against Rachel Amber, the case needs to be investigated further, as this is an incredibly private matter.

Want to begin the report with the fact, that Hannah Crimsen claimed that Rachel p **urposely shared some of her incredibly private and intimate photos to the whole Blackwell Academy**.

Hannah was really sad and told me that she and Rachel got into a massive fight, and the photos were Rachel’s revenge against her. I have a hard time believing this, as Rachel and Hannah repeatedly claim to be good friends. Rachel is denying everything.

Later, Nathan Prescott, in a really aggressive manner backed Hannah up, saying that he would threat lawsuit if the photos wouldn’t be deleted.

Mr Amber, your daughter is a model student, and l would never believe that she would do such a thing. But the case has already opened and Rachel’s phone was confiscated. I’m asking you to talk to Rachel, as this is an incredibly serious matter and a huge invasion in the student’s privacy.

Best regards: Ray Wells”

“Additional information: **CASE CLOSED** ”

* * *

Hannah felt coldness flowing over her and began gasping for air. Her worst memories at Blackwell… Rachel… **_The actual end of their friendship_** …

* * *

_Flashback_

_– I remember… – And never forget what happened that day._

_– At one moment, l was just standing at the doors, looking at what l just found, unable to move. – Rachel and Mr Jefferson, who were just kissing and hugging half undressed, were looking at me with fear and anger._

_– All l managed to do, was running out, dropping the files l was carrying to Jefferson’s office. – Any feeling of respect that l had left for Rachel were vanished. – I was disgusted with her - l wanted to scream and tear down her perfect face. – I was so disturbed that l barely made it to the bathroom._

– **Hannah!!!** _– Rachel ran after me, and slammed the bathroom door. – I was so disgusted that blocked her to get to me._

– You got it all wrong, I promise!

– Rachel… What the actual fuck?! – Sleeping with your teacher? – Really?

– Keep your voice down, Han, you don’t want everyone to know.

– Oh, don’t worry, I make sure every breathing person in this school will know about what a whore you are.

– Rachel was shocked and enraged. – It looked like she could smash my head against the sink at any moment, but I wasn’t scared.

– I will tell everyone, you can hope for that, Rachel! – And you bet that I’ll report that Mr Pedo the police!

– And you also can bet that I’ll tell Chloe. – She deserves much better than a whore who constantly cheats on her!

_– Suddenly, Rachel reached out her hand and grabbed my throat, while looking me dead into the eyes._

_– I swallowed and couldn’t move. – All I remember was pain from Rachel’s nails, that were deeply cutting my neck. – Rachel didn’t look like herself at that moment, like it was a completely different person that wore the mask of my friend Rachel Amber._

_– She was staring at me for some time and finally talked, being calm and angry for the same time._

– Listen Hannah. – You are my friend and I like you, like you very much and you can trust me…

– But don’t you **dare** to tell anyone what you just saw. – Or else, you can only imagine what is coming for your nosey ass.

– You will shut up and act like you didn’t know what is going on between me and Jefferson. – Chloe also can’t ever know, got it?

_– I nodded and Rachel immediately let me go. – I caught some fresh breath and began processing what the fuck just happened._

– You are some crazy bitch, Amber…

– Maybe yes, maybe no, Hannah. – You got what I told you?

– Go fuck yourself and you better stay away from me now! – Oh, and **now** the whole school will certainly know about everything. – Even this.

– You will regret it Hannah. – One last warning.

– Go fuck a spider, whore!

_– I stormed out, leaving Rachel behind. – It had to be one of the worst choices I ever made…_

_– The next day, photos of me in my bra from a sleepover were spread across the whole school. – Nicknames like “basic underwear” were bombarded at me_.

– _Right there, I knew it was Rachel. – **That it was her method of** **punishing me, keeping me under control by fear**._

_– And… – That was the first time I felt helpless and lost. – That day, I realized that I was completely fucked._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

Chloe was staring at Hannah for some time, looking completely lost. Hannah zoned back into reality and immediately closed the file. None of them could get out even one word out of themselves.

After a long, awkward pause, Max suddenly spoke.

– Hannah, what this file saying… – Is it true?

Chloe looked at her with despair, like she couldn’t believe that Rachel, her angel, can actually do that to her friend.

Hannah breathed in and quietly nodded. Max shamefully covered her face, meanwhile, looking at Chloe. Chloe herself leaned over the chair’s back. She didn’t know how to actually feel about all this.

– Chloe… – Max began saying, but Hannah suddenly interrupted her.

– Sorry that you know it like this, Chloe… – By the way, this was a one-time thing, okay?

– What the fuck happened between you two? – Why Rachel even did this.? – Holy hell, poor you... – Chloe was bumbling under her breath.

Hannah made three deep breathes. Everything now became _too_ mysterious. This break-in was supposed to shed some light on the situation with Rachel, but ultimately, made everything much less understanding.

Max meanwhile took photos of Nathan’s reports and his drawing. For Hannah it was really hard to look at how the girls were pointing fingers at Nathan, mostly out of bias against him.

But even she couldn’t protect him anymore. Nathan and David clearly had something to do with Rachel, and, even maybe… _Her disappearance_.

They were clearly playing against her – drug use reports, more and more accusations…

_Why David and Nathan were doing this?_

_What does this Nazi got from it, apart hate from the principal?_

_Why had they even wanted to damage Rachel? Especially Nate, who basically worshipped her, and would never do such a thing???_

Hannah’s head was spinning because of her triggers that got out, her discovered secret, and most importantly – Rachel and **her** big secret. **The secret that they stopped being friends long time ago, unlike what Hannah has been telling the police.**


	13. Trapped In The Corner

_Nathan's point of view_

All while Max, Hannah and Chloe were searching the office and looking for some new pieces of information, Nathan was sitting on the bench outside at night, feeling incredibly tense.

Already 10 minutes passed from that moment when he got a message from Mr Jefferson, asking to meet on the school grounds. Nathan was nervous, no one know how Jefferson could act after being literally suspended from school... Jeez Hannah! Why has she had to make everything so needlessly complicated?

– _Nathan_ , – Nathan suddenly heard someone calling his name. When he turned, he saw Mr Jefferson who was approaching him. He waved.

– Hope that our meeting still remains a secrecy, – Jefferson said in a pretentious manner.

– I checked the yard, there is no one around. – We are safe.

– Good, good, – Said Jefferson, and motioned for Nathan to get up. He obeyed immediately.

After a short pause, when Jefferson was silently staring at him, Nathan got out of himself a couple of words.

– Uhm… – How are you? – I'm really sorry this happened, – Nathan attempted to cheer Jefferson up, but his glare only became much colder.

– I was lucky that the drunken principal hasn't fired me as a whole. – So, there is some use in him, – Jefferson said.

– Completely agree…

Suddenly, Jefferson breathed in and turned away.

– Nathan, for yours and her safety, I will tell you one important thing – **your girlfriend is walking on thin ice right now**.

Nathan suddenly felt like he was splashed with cold water. His heart began beating fast, he was breathing heavily.

Jefferson, witnessing this, didn't even try to calm Nathan down, just watched. He knew he had triggered him.

After some time, Jefferson sat him down on the bench and sat near, looking at Nathan. He smirked.

– After what Hannah did today, I less and less want to keep the promise. – I'm only doing it for you Nate, – Mr Jefferson quietly said.

– Don't we already have enough photo subjects? – And haven't you promised that you won't touch Hannah?

Jefferson signed.

– I will, I promise Nate, – He said with concerning tone. – Just talk to her, warn her not to act out. – She is under your protection, she is your friend, right?

Nathan nodded.

– And you care about Hannah more than anyone, right?

– More than anyone else in my life, – Nathan said confidently.

Suddenly, Jefferson's smile turned a bit sinister. He put his hand on Nathan's shoulder.

– We now need to work on covering the tracks. – Hannah and Kate made this situation much harder… – Got it?

– Well yeah. – But, maybe we can stop for now? – Kate Marsh is already blowing our cover with her suicide…

– Nathan. – **We are going to do the exact opposite** , – Said Mr Jefferson with a cold tone. – **And we are doing it at this Friday's Vortex Club party.**

Nathan became cautious. There had to be some hints on who is going to be _next_ …

– Who is it, Mr Jefferson? – Nathan asked with concern and trembling tone. Jefferson didn't reply.

– Still don't know… – There can be many compelling potential models around the school, though not all of them are suitable.

Nathan wanted to be swallowed by the ground right now. Everything felt… Wrong, and he didn't understand why.

Before this, he only felt a slim glimpse of regret about what he and Jefferson were doing.

 _– We were not raping them or kill them… – They were okay, so what we are doing is okay. – This was for my freedom. – Not a bad exchange._ – This was Nathan's logic before.

But… After Kate Marsh happened, he began feeling something different. _Kate was hurt, and almost killed herself because of him. She is hurt just like he is. Nathan has nothing to back him up now._

Something was wrong… And weird. The one and only person in Nathan's life, who made him feel like this was Hannah. No one else.

Jefferson looked Nathan deeply in the eyes.

– Please, trust me Nate, – He said kindly. – _This is going to be your last photoshoot._ – After this – you are safe, I promise.

– I help you escape this hell and that person, who calls himself your father is going to be left behind. – One last photoshoot is not going to bring you any harm, okay?

Nathan took a deep breath and began thinking.

_Freedom… The only thing he desperately was chasing after, was within a reach of his hand. Goodbye shit town, shit people and shitty father!_

And, he and Jefferson don't actually kill those girls, because fuck this! They even helped Rachel build her portfolio and got her to LA. Other ones, except Kate Marsh were fine… _Right?_

He breathed in again.

_Mr Jefferson never lies, so after this photoshoot, everything will end. He is going to finish Blackwell and get out of this shithole with Jefferson. Take Hannah with him, have a good life and his problems will go away. And the cost of his freedom and appreciation from Jefferson is only **this** …_

He was torn. Mr Jefferson was patient, like an experienced psychiatrist. He then calmly hugged Nathan.

– Everything will be over soon. – Your future looks promising and bright. And maybe you even encounter Rachel later in life? – She will be proud of you, Nate.

– Wh… – What about Hannah? – Victoria?

– They are safe, I promise. – Just wanted to warn you about Hannah and keep her away from everything as far away as possible.

Nathan deep inside knew it was bs. Jefferson was capable of hurting Hannah, his shred of light in his life. But also understood that if he does, that would be his – Nathan's fault.

Trapped into the corner, tears streamed down Nathan's face. His heart was beating faster and faster, not even letting him catch a break.

**Desperately, he nodded** , agreeing on the photoshoot. Mr Jefferson smiled sinisterly and hugged him. While hugging, he whispered:

_– Everything is going to be okay… – **If only you don't screw up like that time with Rachel**._

Nathan immediately felt guilty for everything. He was now forced to endlessly nod and agree with everything Mr Jefferson was saying. His heart was hurting and his head was spinning.

Seeing that he made Nathan to agree, Jefferson smiled and patted Nathan on the head.

– Everything will be okay, the girl is going to be okay, just like Rachel is. – Right now, forget about it and focus on covering the tracks. – And also _\- keep an eye on Hannah_.

– Will do that. – I promise, I won't fail, 'kay?

– Alright then. – Goodbye Nathan. – Oh, and I advise you to go to your room and get some sleep.

– T-Thanks, got it, – Nathan stuttered and kept sitting on the bench, while looking at the direction of Mark Jefferson, who slowly disappeared.

After this, the feeling of warmth and protection disappeared with him. Emotions of helplessness took over Nathan's mind. He raised his head and leaned against the bench with it. Some tears streamed down his cheeks.

_– Wow wow wow, look at this. – Mighty Nate, crying again,_ – Nathan heard someone.

He turned and saw **Rachel** heading towards him. She smiled, but looked concerned.

_– So, you agreed on this crap again? – Don't you worry that it's going to catch on you later on? – Didn't Kate taught you anything?_

Nathan began blinking, and Rachel disappeared too. He let out a quiet and shut down scream. He slapped himself to compose and began crying.

* * *

After some time passed, his eyes began to close. He didn't even wanted to get up – planned to sleep on the bench.

Suddenly, he got patted by someone. It was so sudden that he jumped.

– Ouch Nathan, – Nathan heard Victoria's voice and took a deep breath. She laughed and pushed him softly. He smiled and moved so she could sit.

– Jeez, this day sucks ass, – Victoria said and Nathan nodded in agreement.

He took out a cigarette and offered it to her. Victoria rolled her eyes and accepted. Nathan looked at her – she was disturbed, but was holding up amazingly.

– How are you? – He asked, but Victoria felt distant. He put his hand around her shoulder. Both of them felt relief.

– Nathan, you can't even imagine how much I'm waiting for this fucking party. – Blackwell went crazy.

Nathan laughed.

– If you wait for it so much, you bet you are not going to be disappointed, – He excitedly said and Victoria jokingly meowed.

– Me+Meth is the best pairing you can think of, – She joked again, but it looked like that her jokes were an attempts to hide something.

Nathan wasn't dumb – they spent time together forever and he knew Victoria like no other.

– Hey Vic… – Listen, I know you are not the most open person, but you can trust me, ok?

– Forget about it, Nathan, chill out – I'm fine.

– You sure?

– Yeah, thanks for giving a shit about me. – You know… I honestly think that I deserve zero sympathy after what happened with Kate.

– Don't we all do some fucked up shit? – The only difference is that it backfired for you – it's not your fault, got it?

Victoria nodded without any confidence and got up. Nathan got up too and patted her on the back. She smiled and they started to walk around the yard. Victoria looked somewhat happy – Nathan managed to calm her down, even if he was shaking himself. They were walking around, and confronting each other.

Nathan lit another cigarette, now for himself and looked at Victoria, who suddenly stopped. He realized that she looked at the roof, that was once "their place".

He approached her and stood near, crossing his arms.

– Hey, Vic…

– You know what Nathan? – Fuck it. – Kate Marsh is alive, so zero guilt on us. – Victoria said confidently.

Nathan smiled through his beginning sadness.

– Good to have you back, Victoria. – Nathan joked and Victoria, smiling, rolled her eyes. – You bet we all are going to have a blast this Friday.

Victoria laughed. They both stood there and hugged.

While they hugged, tears began streaming down Nathan's face, but he couldn't even twitch from it. He felt that he needed to be strong, even if he had zero control of himself. Emotions were over the top.

Nathan just closed his eyes out of desperation. _At the end of the week, a new photoshoot awaits him. His last one…_


	14. Monster?

Nathan hung out with Victoria some more time and she went back to her dorm room, while he stayed outside. The time was already moving closer to 2pm, it was clear that trying to sleep is going to be pointless.

After realizing it, Nathan decided to wander around some more time, and maybe to find some small hideout, safe away from the security scum.

His heart was beating rapidly, he couldn't believe that he has to do that **again**! He was questioning himself about everything.

_– What the fuck did l got myself into? – Please, please let it all go smoothly…_ – Nathan was trembling inside, while hiding in one of the outside's corners.

He leaned against the wall, and wanted to lit a cigarette, but to his extreme disappointment, there was none left.

Trying to at least somehow compose himself, Nathan closed his eyes. He never felt more horrible about the future victims of the Dark Room. _Maybe that is what's wrong with him, he suspected there was something unusual happening inside him._

Nathan breathed in. He was torn on whatever agreeing or disagreeing in doing that photoshoot with Mr Jefferson.

On one hand, those girls never hurt him, or the ones close to him… They don't deserve it, right?

But, on the other hand… Mr Jefferson was one of three people in Nathan's whole life who provided him with what at least, looked like love and support… And Nathan couldn't lose him, **his father figure** …

* * *

_Flashback_

– Good Nathan, good! – I'm surprised how much you have accomplished in this little time. – You father should be proud - you are extremely talented.

_– Mr Jefferson was looking at me proudly, with a smile on his face. – I, at that moment was lost on words, looking at my photos, just blinking._

_– As soon as I heard the praises, tears began to stream down my face. – The praise, that I was waiting for so long… – Was finally here, with my teacher._

– So? – Do our lessons feel useful to you Nate?

– You are asking? – I'm so honored you decided to save some of your time… – For me.

– You bet, Nathan. – I will _not_ let one of my brightest students under the radar. – I say, that I surprisingly enjoyed working with you.

– There is so much inside of you then seems at the first glance, and it really reflects on your photography.

– _While Mr Jefferson was praising me, I was just looking at this incredible man. – He put his hand on my shoulder, while smiling._

– Your talents need more fleshing out, but trust me – under my guidance, you bet that I make sure you become the best of the best.

– R-Really? – You agreeing on tutoring me some more? – I thought… – That it was a one-time thing my father scheduled with you…

– Can't pass a rising talent like this. – I just hope your old-fashioned father would allow me to do more… – No offense.

– No, you are right. – My dad _is_ really old-fashioned.

– _Mr Jefferson laughed and I was surprised by his reaction and how he behaved around me. – I actually, never felt more calmer around an adult._

– _All adults in my life were always the old-fashioned assholes, who had the need to put my down all the time to feel good about themselves or… – My dad. – He was in a separate category of "adults"._

– Oh no… – Sorry Nathan, looks like 1.5 hours already passed, have to wrap it up now.

– Hey, Mr Jefferson, thank you so much!

– Well, I'm going to speak to your father today about continuing to tutor you. – You are really dedicated, and I believe you will make a name for yourself in photography.

– Yeah… – I hope that.

– Leave the rest to me, Nathan. – Right now, just focus more on your schooling, primary, art. – I know you are mostly missing out what I'm saying on the lectures, but believe – I can say interesting stuff there.

– Fuck… – Sorry about this. – I promise I will pay more attention in your class from now on. – Thanks again.

– Then, deal. – I'm looking forward to tutor you more. – You are slowly becoming my favorite student.

– _When Mr Jefferson exited the classroom, I was blankly staring on the wall, processing everything that just happened._

– _I was over the moon with joy and happiness. – Hearing those kind words of praising were something new to me, something I haven't heard for a while,_ _ **even from my own dad**_ _._

_– And… Mr Jefferson was right. He motivated me to pay more attention to the art class, he motivated me to do better. And, it paid off – my grades skyrocketed, and I actually began to feel good about myself._

– See Nathan? – I told that you had strong potential. – Glad you began using it as you should be. – _Mr Jefferson used to tell me_. _– And actually, it made me really happy, as if... – What I was doing was good, was mattering._

_Flashback ends_

* * *

After he remembered this, Nathan smiled and at the same time, burst into tears. _He looked insane at that moment_.

He realized that he **is** going to do that. Anything for making his father figure proud. _Even this_.

Mr Jefferson came when Nathan was at his lowest, listened to him, motivated him and helped him…

And, Nathan wanted to repay Mr Jefferson for his kindness, to show him that he **is** dedicated to photography. But… What was supposed to be a just simple modeling with extra steps, turned out to be something different, much darker.

– Shiiit… – Nathan was walking around, trying to think what to do.

He was scared, he felt like doing photoshoots was the only way to escape the hell he is in now, and he was somewhat fine with it, before Kate Marsh happened.

Thinking about Kate brought mixed feelings. He pitied her, maybe felt sorry for her – he didn't understand what was happening with him.

Nathan suddenly slapped himself really hard to get back on track and began to calm himself.

– _Focus dude, focus. – This is the last one, everything will be okay. – Just trust Mr Jefferson and you'll be fine._

To clear his head, Nathan got into his car and drove to the beach. He realized it would be impossible to try and sleep now, and his thoughts were obviously not in the right place now. He needed to go to his place and think about everything that happened, calm down.

When Nathan got to the beach, he exited and immediately, the smell of fresh and cold sea breeze went through him. He looked at the sea and let out a sigh of relief. Here, near the sea, he felt calm and safe.

Nathan turned on his mp3 music player and began walking near the sea. He even took off his shoes and walked barefoot on cold and wet sand, enjoying it. Deep inside, he was realizing that this all was just an attempt to try to distract himself from the Dark Room.

He found a small and safe place under big boulders and hid under them. He closed his eyes, falling deeply into the music he was listening.

His brain was hazy and the thought about the next Dark Room photoshoot brought him real pain. What was happening inside his head was real torture porn. _And he wanted to stop this horrible pain to matter what_.

He felt like he was drowning and Jefferson was that small stick people hold on to save themselves…

While wiping out the tears Nathan felt like he was falling asleep. He switched the music to whale songs and curled into a ball, leaning on a big boulder.

– _Am I really horrible? – Do I not deserve my own "happy ending" after all the shit I gone through?_ – Nathan was thinking and sniffing, while falling asleep.

_And he fell asleep thinking about Hannah - the only positive that was in his life for the last year._


	15. How It All Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An episode from the past, about how Nathan and Hannah began their relationship.   
> Hannah's first day in Blackwell. The episode is not flashback-formatted.

Right after meeting Hannah, Nathan and Victoria exited the dining room, and were discussing her.

– Well, what do you think? – Can this girl a worthy addition to our club? – Victoria smirked.

– She looks weird... – And her hobbies are weird. – But, she is pretty fresh. – If you work with her - she will become a candy.

Victoria rolled her eyes and laughed.

– You are so funny Nathan. – Alright, the testing will begin the next day. – Victoria said and stopped.

– Just please, try to treat Hannah well. – I kind of like her, so… ~~– Stop being Nathan for a second.~~

– I try Vic. – No promises though, – Nathan made a sly smile.

– Like whatever, dork, – Victoria slightly pushed Nathan and they both slightly laughed.

– Okay, I have fucking math now, see ya later.

– Ouch… – Well, good luck, hope you get some good sleep. – Au reviour.

– Chaio.

Nathan waved to Victoria and took the direction towards the class. He felt… Weird since he saw Hannah and had no idea what it was. _What the actual f is going on with him_?

* * *

He got to the math class and took a seat. Suddenly, right before the bell rang, Hannah entered the class, clearly lost. She quietly waved to the teacher and sat in the same desk row as Nathan – the furthest one.

_– Don't blame you. – I would also want to stay away from those idiots as far as possible_.

Hannah set up for the lesson and prepared to write down whatever the teacher was saying. Nathan rolled him eyes - "nerd".

While the lesson was going on, Nathan was peeking at Hannah a couple of times, but she was oblivious to this.

Nathan breathed in. Maybe it's time? Time to assert his dominance, to show this new girl who owns this school. And, they are in a class, around some idiots and a teacher… _Perfect_.

First thing, Nathan took out a sheet of paper and threw it at Hannah. She twitched and turned, looking annoyed. He breathed in again and looked at her directly.

Hannah realized who threw the paper, rolled her eyes at Nathan and began to turn away. Nathan took a phone out of his pocked and began writing dms. **Suddenly, he put his feet on the desk**.

The whole class gasped and focused their attention on Nathan, while the teacher didn't seem to notice. Nathan noticed this and smirked – as he thought, the teacher did jack shit and everyone's attention was on him. But he only cared about the attention of one person – Hannah.

Hannah herself was baffled. She was looking directly at Nathan, holding the "WTF" look. She looked around, and noticed that no one said anything to Nathan, raised her hand.

– Uhm excuse me sir, Nathan Prescott is having his legs on the desk. – Will you like, do something about it?

Some people burst out laughing, while the teacher looked uncomfortable. It was clear that the teacher was planning to ignore what was happening and was caught.

– Nathan Prescott, please take your… – Legs from the desk and put away your phone away please? – The teacher spoke really careful, like he avoided pissing Nathan off. _And boy was he pissed_.

His "alpha moment" of triumph and flex with power was ruined. Flustered, Nathan forcibly put away his legs and phone away, while glaring at Hannah. She smirked and got back to math.

The lesson seemed to continue as normal, but Nathan was annoyed to the extreme. What was supposed to be a moment of asserting dominance over the new girl, turned into a complete shitshow of Nathan making a fool out of himself and put down by the said tiny girl. Shit.

Out of annoyance, he made another paper ball and threw it at Hannah. And then another, and another.

She looked more and more annoyed and Nathan enjoyed seeing her like that. "Take that Thumbelina!" – Was his process of thought. It was funny to him, at least something to blow off steam from this embarrassment.

But it clearly was _not_ funny for Hannah. And after 10th ball getting thrown at her, she suddenly stood up, rolled a big paper ball and _threw it right at Nathan's face_. Everyone gasped and looked at her.

– Take that, asswipe. – Throw your balls somewhere else, this is my territory. – Hannah smugly said and sat back.

The class burst out laughing, while Nathan was sitting, red with anger. _Who does she thinks she is?!_

Before the teacher could say anything, Nathan grabbed his pencil case and threw it at Hannah. It missed her, but the damage was done.

– Oh you want a fight, Prescott? – I give you a fight!

With the class cheering, Nathan and Hannah began throwing light things at each other. Both' eyes began filling with blood mixed with excitement.

Suddenly, the teacher realized what was going on and screamed:

**– Nathan Prescott! – Hannah Crimsen! – Get out of the class right now!**

Both fighters immediately stopped and looked at each other with hate. Hannah didn't even try to argue – would be a pointless waste of time, and simply complied. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with her?!

Nathan on the other hand, showed the teacher a middle finger and went towards the door. He tried to push Hannah on the way out, _but suddenly, fell on the floor himself_. Both of them looked angry, annoyed and defeated, when they closed the door, while their classmates were dying of laughter.

* * *

Hannah and Nathan stood across from each other, looking each other dead in the eyes. Finally, Hannah began talking.

– Wow, thank you asshole. Congrats, now l got kicked out of the class on my first day here thanks to you. – By the way - hope that this fall was painful. – She was saying angrily, while Nathan looked at her, pissed and flustered.

He was angry, but couldn't even spell it out loud. Hannah stopped and looked at his face. She let out a small laugh.

– Why are you laughing?! – Nathan snarled and Hannah backed away.

– What was that stupid show in a classroom?

– I always do that, it wasn't for you or for anybody else.

– Oh really? – It definitely looked like you were showing off. – And look where we are now – I got kicked out of the class on my first day, all thanks to you!

– If you kept your mouth shut, nothing would have happened, – Nathan said with annoyed tone.

Hannah just rolled her eyes. Mumbled: "I'm not going to waste my time with a Prescott idiot", took out her pink console and began playing it.

– Repeat what you just said?! – Nathan's eyes widen and he screamed at her.

– Oh, you are soo fucked, newbie. – You messed with a wrong person – I _own_ this school and can crush your little time here with my finger.

Hannah was just looking at him, keeping herself from laughing. At that moment, Nathan looked like this "over the top evil/comical" character trope from countless anime that she watched and it was as cute as it was scary.

– Okay, I'm leaving you alone now, but you also step away – got it?

Nathan was so surprised, annoyed and angry – **Hannah wasn't threatened at all**. And that was what he always wanted – **for people to be afraid of him**.

– H-hey, don't you go away! – We are not done here! – Nathan's anxiety began to uncover itself and he began stuttering. _No no no… He needed something to distract himself from it, he can't lose face in front of Hannah._

Suddenly, he approached Hannah, and grabbed her pink console from her hands. He began waving it around like a toy that he just stole from his younger sibling.

– What the heck?! – Prescott, give me my console back right now! – Hannah attempted to jump, but was too small even for this.

Nathan found himself a little calmer. _Phew, everything is okay, no meltdowns, no tears, no showing of weakness…_

– You really like this? – This gimmick for 3-year olds and you are calling this a console? – Go buy a PS3 or Xbox360, – Nathan said with playful, mocking tone.

– Hey, I love my console, you ass. – Give it back!

Nathan was waving it around, trying to keep Hannah's attention and cover himself up. Hannah stood in front of him, giving him a pouting face. When Nathan dropped his guard, Hannah grabbed her console out of his hands, and looked at him with disgust, mixed with annoyance.

– You are such a dick Nathan Prescott. – Leave me alone now, you are playing on my nerves enough, – She barked at him, looking more like an angry chihuahua than a threat.

And before Nathan could do anything, Hannah turned and walked away, leaving Nathan standing in a middle of the hallway, not seeing that his anxiety won.

He was shaking and on the verge of crying. He failed in both aspects that he was planning. Deep inside, he wanted to _be friends_ with Hannah, and at the same time, before he would trust her completely, put under his dominance. Just, didn't know how to approach her.

_– Holy shit… – I had one job and still managed to screw this up. Now, she will never talk to you again._ – Nathan thought.

He was just forced to stand there, think about what he did wrong and swallow his tears. 

Then, he realized what happened and immediately, became even more miserable. He was now alone with his thoughts. **What has he done?**


	16. Bonding

_Hannah’s point of view_

– Holy shit, we are so dead, – Hannah whispered, when she and Max hid nearby from the security guard.

_– Jesus… – What have I gotten myself into?..._ – Hannah was thinking, while hiding. Max twitched – it looked like she was afraid, as she was trembling. This made Hannah chuckle. She laughed, while she was feeling like shitting herself.

– Well, your badass spirit disappeared faster then I though, Max, – Hannah winked and Max slightly pushed her.

– Hey, cut me some slack. – My scholarship is on the line, remember?

– Yeah, that’s kind of a bummer. – And Principal Bribells isn’t in a big favour of you either, Caulfield.

– _Bribells?_ – So accurate. – Max laughed.

_It was so weird… They barely knew each other, and like, supposed to be something like enemies, but Max felt so calm around Hannah. What potion had this girl and Chloe put in her tea?_

– I guess, that’s just how Hannah is. – Always charming, funny and endearing. – Max thought. Suddenly, Hannah patted her on the shoulder.

– Okay Max, I think he left. – Cm’on, we need to find Chloe!

* * *

The two girls ran out of the classroom they were hiding in and began walking around, hoping to ran into Chloe. Suddenly, they both started laughing – the adrenaline was wearing off, and both of them needed an immediate distraction.

Eventually, Max and Hannah's giggles subsided, leaving the still grinning girls to stare at each other while they recapped their recent exploits:

  
  
_– We bombed a door._

_– We broke into a principal’s office._

_– We read papers not meant for us._

_– We almost got busted._

_– We are screwed, right?_

_– Sooo screwed._

They sighed and Hannah tenderly pat Max on the shoulder, calming her down.

– Okay, let’s go. – Chloe is probably already swimming in the pool, not waiting of us. – Max said.

– As long as she isn't busted. – That would mean, you’re stuck with me, Max, – Hannah laughed.

– Wah-wah, you know Chloe, she can take care of herself. – Maybe you know her even better than me…

– Max, you kiddin’? – You are Chloe are BFF’s, tied by the fate! – And I was… – Her temporarily friend.

– But you still were there for her, while I wasn’t. – By the way Hannah - I owe you a thanks for looking after her. – Max shy smiled.

Hannah felt the tension surrounding Max. She felt uncomfortable, she was sad and full of pity. Hannah understood how Max was feeling right now. _Max felt like she abandoned her best friend, and came back too late_ …

****

Hannah turned to Max and put her hand on the shoulder. This method could do no wrong, ever – if it works so well in calming down Nathan, why shouldn’t it work on Max?

– Max, Chloe talked about you every damn time we hung out. – Hannah said with a soft, real smile. Max turned to her, but remained quiet; listening to each word.

– You are important to her Max, she cares about you. – So, maybe you left Chloe, but you reappeared in her life. _– Just when she needed you the most._

– Consider yourself the hero who came to Chloe’s rescue, even if you took some time. – And about that, don’t worry – I got you covered.

Max, after hearing this was taken away. _Is this girl a fucking psychologist?!_

Hannah let go of Max and looked at her. Max was smiling.

– Thank you, Hannah.

Max smiled, but deep inside, felt sadness and pity for Hannah. This girl was reading her like a book, but not because she was naturally good at this. Detecting emotions, keeping track on reactions, calming down… _All this isn’t new to Hannah_.

_– It must be hard to be everyone’s therapist._ – Max thought. _– Nathan, Chloe and then… – Me. – I actually feel bad for Hannah._

* * *

While the girls were chatting, they didn’t even notice how they got to the pool. Suddenly, they heard loud coughing. Max gasped, bust Hannah turned over her phone flashlight and moved it to the direction of the cough. Yep, as they though – it was Chloe.

– I was waiting for you two forever, what happened?

– We almost got spotted, Chloe. – Max let out a small laughter.

– Oh you little Ninja, – Said Chloe and hugged Max. – Han, SuperMax, you two are soo badass!

– Not as badass as you, Price, – Hannah winked. – You were the one who came up with this, remember?

– And look where it got us now, – Max began talking. – And, lemmie tell you – it feels amazing.

– Meow Chloe, beware – Max has awakened her teenage spirit and is now on a pathway of becoming a rebel. – Hannah jokingly said.

– You are such a jerk, – Chloe shove Hannah, but Max stayed silent.

– Hey girls, do you want a grand finale to our little break-in? – Let’s all jump to swim in the pool. – I want to do it, and you both are coming with me, – Chloe confidently stated.

– You know Chloe, I’m down. – We all definitely need some cool off after what happened today/yesterday, – Max said with a sparkle in her eye.

– What about you Hannah? – You down for some illegal swimming?

Hannah looked at Max and Chloe and felt conflicted. She saw this pool, this opportunity, as an escape.

She has gone through a literal roller-coaster, that was crushing on its way out. That’s how she felt, and Hannah thought she deserved some rest after what happened.

But… when looking at Max and Chloe, Hannah caught in their eyes that they want this swim to be **their own** moment. Even if they never said it.

Hannah wanted Max and Chloe to reunite, to build back the bond that was once broken. And she will **not** ruin it with the presence of her skinny ass in the pool.

– So? – You hopping in, or what? – Chloe crossed her arms and went to Hannah, while smiling.

– You know, nah thanks, I’m good. – Hannah barely got this out of herself. – I think I have enough shit for now. – Maybe I'll even try to get to the dorm and grab a few hours of sleep.

– Got it, Dresses. – Thank you for everything, for real. – You helped.

– Thanks for the undeserved compliments. – Hannah laughed and shook hands with Chloe. She turned to Max and winked.

_– Good luck with Chloe, Caulfield  – you certainty need it, _– Hannah whispered and winked.

* * *

When she exited the main building, Hannah rose her head and looked at the sky. She closed her eyes and let the wind flow through her.

Hannah was standing still for what felt like 10 minutes.

While she was standing, she thought about all the crazy shit that has been happening. The good, the bad, and… worse; it was terrifying and made Hannah feel like puking.

She felt like life was playing her and torturing her, but at the same time, was bringing her some dessert to numb the pain.

Tears repeatedly tried to get out, but Hannah sucked them all inside. No, she is better then this. She is not some whiny edgelord teenager – she is the fucking _Hannah Crimsen_ , the life of the school and she needs to drop all that crap.

The worst thing when she tried to throw out all the negatives out of her head, Rachel's face, judgmental as usual, popped into her mind. Shiit, why now?

After numerous attempts trying to clear her head, Hannah just sat on the bench, and was helplessly staring at the void. At some point, even this wasn’t enough for her.

– Fuck, why the hell I left the pool? – If I wasn’t such a dumbass, I would now be swimming in cold water, enjoying time with my new found friends…

_– What now? – Get back to the pool? – Hell nah, Max and Chloe are having the time of their life, I’m not planning to third wheel anyway._

Hannah leaned on the back and took out her phone. Wtf is wrong with her? Usually, when she felt that way, she would lock herself in her pink dream dorm room, hug her body pillow and watch anime until falling asleep.

But now, she really needed someone to talk to, at least make some attempts. Hannah took a deep breath and called Nathan.

* * *

Sometime after, Nathan picked up and in seemingly sleepy tone began to talk:

– Hannah? – Do you know what time is it now?

– Sorry Nate, hope I didn’t wake you up.

– Nah, no worries. – So, why callin’ me that late?

– It’s… – Hard to explain.

– Hey, is something wrong? – You sound like you just witnessed a murder.

– Nate, I know I can come across as needy, but I _really_ need someone to talk to right now.

– Why not? – You definitely sound like someone who needs a good talk.

– Where you are now?

– Hanging out at the east side of the beach. – Don’t worry, you will see my car parked there.

– Jesus thank you! – You are a life saver.

– Waiting now. 

Hannah breathed from relief and went to the parking lot.

Before she got into her car, she threw one last glance on the pool building. She smiled – Max and Chloe were happy together. **This is where Chloe belongs – with Max.**

* * *

She hopped in the car and drove off. Hannah reached the beach and noticed Nathan’s car parked there, but not Nathan himself.

– Nate? – Hannah called for him and looked around. Suddenly, Nathan’s head showed out of his SUV’s trunk.

– Hey!

– Oh… – Hannah was startled for a second and looked at him. She immediately felt uncomfortable, and she didn’t know why.

– Get in, Han. – Nathan reached his hand and she accepted it.

Hannah sat near him and began to look at the sea. The wind was messing her hair and she breathed deeply. Hannah began freezing and Nathan wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm despite himself being frozen almost to death.

– So… – That’s some great bullshit happening here. – Nathan quietly said.

– You tell me, Nathan. – Hannah raised her head and looked at the sky. – By the way – thanks for being here with me now.

– Don’t thank me Han. – I know how that feels, when you are feeling fucked and don’t have anyone around.

– Yeah, _this_ …

Nathan and Hannah looked at the sea for quite some time and then, laid on their backs in the trunk, laying really close to each other.

Nathan ran his finders through Hannah’s deep brown hair and held her in his arms. Hannah smiled – she was so small that Nathan tucked all of her with no problems. While she was in Nathan’s arms, she felt safe, while Nathan holding her felt calm.

They were hugging each other, and at least now, trying to forget everything fucked up that was in their lives. No problems, no drama, no drugs – just two young people enjoying a bit of life they had left.

Hannah loved that Nathan didn’t ask her about anything that happened. Just decided that she needed comfort, so he gave it to her. _That was the trait she loved in him the most_. 

While they were resting, Hannah felt that Nathan fell asleep, with a smile on his face. Hannah turned to him and gently ran her hand over his head, even slightly messed with his hair. She looked at him with sadness mixed with deep love.

**_– Nate… – I just wish everything was different. – For you and me._ **


	17. After The Night

_Nathan’s point of view_

_“Look at you. Enjoying the sweet time while you abandoned me. Nate… Remember, **remember what you did.** ”_

Those words played inside Nathan’s head over and over, he woke up trembling and confused. This voice… **Rachel?**

After realizing he completely woke up, Nathan still barely managed to open his eyes. The first thing he saw was the brown hair getting in his way. Hannah’s hair, that smelled like watermelon.

Nathan breathed in and noticed how he was holding the sleeping Hannah in his arms. She curled and was visibly trembling from the cold. 

Nathan haven’t fully woken up, but hugged Hannah tightly. Maybe that would keep her warm?

Suddenly, he felt a slight punch.

– Nathan. – _Nathan_. – Hannah angrily whispered. _– I- I can’t breathe!_

– Shit, sorry, – Nathan mumbled and let Hannah go.

He rolled over onto his back and stretched out. Hannah did also and they looked each other in the eyes and Hannah started laughing. Nathan was confused about the dream he had to be paying attention. What did Rachel mean?

– That was… Some crazy “sleepover”, – Nathan said with a shy tone. Hannah was seemingly uncomfortable.

– Yeah, it def was. – I feel like I was kept in the ice castle for the whole night. – I had no idea that it would be so cold! – Hannah sarcastically laughed and hopped off the trunk. Nathan was a bit slower, but he tried to grasp what the hell even happened.

– Hey, you ok there? – Hannah raised her head and asked.

– Uhm… – Yes, I am. – What ‘boutta you, Han?

– Feeling… – Fresh. – But for real, last night was amazing. – Said Hannah, and offered Nathan her hand. Nathan smiled and accepted.

They both were standing near the SUV for a while, looking at the sea. Today seemed to be windy, so Nathan and Hannah quickly ran inside the car. When the were inside, they looked at each other awkwardly. They both looked messy and still trembled from cold.

Nathan took a deep breath and looked out of the window, thinking about his weird dream. He hasn’t had dreams about Rachel or with Rachel for 1 month already… Why now?

– Nate?... – Hannah patted him on the shoulder and Nathan spaced back to the real world.

– Yeah?

– Like, you are at the driver’s seat, – Hannah jokingly said and laughed. Only the laugh sounded forced and awkward, but Nathan completely missed those little signs.

He shook his head and started his car. On the way, he glanced at the sea and smiled. Last night was… Simply amazing.

– What now? – Back to school? – Hannah asked. – I’m now dying of hunger, hope the dining hall works.

– Haha, dream on, – Nathan sarcastically laughed. – it’s 6am after all.

– Ugh. – And, the diner wouldn’t be open until 8…

– Hey Han, I’ve got an idea! – Let’s pay a visit to my home. – Sneak in, get something, and immediately get the fuck out. – So?

– Uhm… – Aren’t you afraid of the Adolf? – Hannah asked.

– Nah. – Nathan faked a grin and drove the car to the Prescott Manor.

* * *

When they got there, Nathan noticed that all the graffiti he left on the fence is still there. He smirked – good. He loved to paint something whenever he was mad, and for the most time, the subject of his arts was his childhood home. Nathan looked at the graffiti for some time more and then took Hannah by the hand and led her inside.

Luckily, no one was in their way and they duo sneaked in without any problems. Maybe, the maid just got used to him going in and immediately leaving?

* * *

Nathan sneaked into the house kitchen quietly, meanwhile Hannah was looking a little uncomfortable.

– Since that dinner I had with your family, your home gives me creeps, – Hannah awkwardly laughed.

– But not my dorm room though. – Remember - "aaah, picture of a dead crow!"

– Your dorm room slaps, Nate. – Your house is not. – Looks so... – Fake and tacky.

Nathan also began laughing and patted Hannah on her head. When got to the kitchen, they both helped themselves to the food in the fridge.

Nathan and Hannah were chilling in the kitchen, eating, chilling and tried to joke. But Nathan became more and more suspicious. Something was clearly wrong with Hannah. Or… _Maybe that’s just him_?

Hannah haven’t tried to talk, just answered Nathan’s questions with one or two words. Nathan began to feel more and more uncomfortable. What the fuck happened? He fucked up _again_? He was now fully paranoid.

* * *

When Hannah finished eating the cold burger, she suddenly stood up and began to leave. But, Nathan was faster. He stood up in fast speed and grabbed Hannah’s shoulder.

– Okay, spit it out, Han. – Nathan said with a serious tone. Hannah was taken aback and seemed embarrassed. Nathan was looking her dead in the eyes – he couldn’t help it, it was in his nature to be impatient.

Hannah stood, not looking at him for quite some time. Finally, what seemed to be under pressure, she cracked.

– Nate… – I really have to talk to you about something. – Not here though, somewhere private.

Nathan breathed in, and noticed that Hannah’s look was _judgmental_. Okay, everything is fine, just to talk, just to talk…

– Well, my room here at our service. – Nathan quietly said and led Hannah to his room, while his heart was intensely beating.

* * *

They got inside his room, Nathan sat Hannah down on his pretty big bed and looked at her. Hannah took a deep breath and showed Nathan her phone.

– Nathan. – **What the fuck is this**?

Nathan’s eyes wided.

On Hannah’s phone, there was a picture of his own drawing – _that one drawing about Rachel_ that he made when his psychosis was at his worst.

**_Rachel… Dark Room… Mr Jefferson… Me…_ **

****

Those words flew inside Nathan’s head and he looked Hannah dead in the eyes.

– Wh… – Where the fuck did you get that?

– What does your drawing means? – Hannah asked with a serious tone, but Nathan felt how hard it was for her.

– Why are you even asking this? – Do you actually believe some shit I wrote on that crazy-ass drawing?! – Nathan began blowing up and Hannah immediately backed away, with a worried face. She even covered herself. Then, continued talking.

– Nate, I don’t want to think you were involved, but please, tell me what is this. – You know that I trust you, right? – Hannah spoke to Nathan as kindly and calmly as possible.

Nathan swallowed. _Yeah, “trust” … Right_.

– Well? – Hannah looked at Nathan and he bit his lip.

_What to fucking do?!_ – Nathan began thinking. He took a couple of deep breathes and relaxed. Then, he finally talked.

– Han, that drawing is… It’s hard to explain, really. – You know that Rachel has disappeared, yeah? – Well, one day I felt so much pain losing her, that I _just couldn’t hold anymore_ … – Nathan began breaking down.

– …And you drew all that on the walls. – Hannah finished the sentence for him. Nathan let out a sign of relief. Holy shit, that reveal was a nightmare.

He looked at Hannah, who, without words hugged him and he hugged her back.

– I’m honestly so relieved Nate, – Hannah smiled at him, but Nathan could feel her trembling. _Is Hannah scared?_

– Hey, is everything alright?

– Yeah, sorry for not talking to you sooner about this, Nathan. – Hannah said with guilt. – I didn’t want to ruin the moments we had.

– Nah, forget about that. Nathan said and lied in the bed with Hannah.

– Your bed is much more comfortable than your trunk, – Hannah joked and Nathan laughed. He tried his best to keep up with the peace – what if he again did something wrong? **No, fuck it**. He is enjoying his calm time with Hannah and no one is going to ruin it. Even his own brain.

After some time of them silently laying together, Nathan calmed down. He then looked at Hannah and asked:

– By the way, how did you get that pic of my drawing? – Nathan turned to Hannah and smiled.

– Believe me or not, but I sorta broke into a school… – Hannah said with shyness. Nathan was startled and amazed.

– Holy shit… – Wish I was there, though: I would absolutely fuck the place up! – Nathan said with excitement and fire in his eyes. Those emotions, like he tried to forget all bad and depressive stuff that happened right now.

– **That’s** why I didn’t tell you about where I was going this night. – Hannah joked.

Nathan breathed in. He was so glad everything has worked out perfectly. That drawing he made hunt him down for a lot of times in his dreams – that time, Nathan was on medications like crazy.

_“Just so the nightmares can go away”_

* * *

Suddenly, Hannah smiled and began standing up.

– So sad that those moments can’t last forever, – She said, looking at Nathan.

– Wish that moments lasted forever.

– You tell. – Your bed is hella soft.

Nathan stood up and put his hand on Hannah’s shoulder, making direct eye contact.

– So, everything is okay between us?

– Well, you quite scared me.

– Shit, I’m… sorry for yelling.

– Nah, forget about it. – I was just curious and got my answer now. – Hannah smiled and they hugged.

Nathan closed his eyes _. How much of those kinds of apologies had Hannah heard throughout their friendship_? 500?

Suddenly, Hannah’s phone rang. She immediately picked up and began talking. Nathan looked at her, while she was replying to someone on the other way.

When she finished, Hannah looked worried and disturbed. She rushed and grabbed her bag on the way out.

– Hey-hey, what happened?

– Ugh, sorry Nate, Max’s called. – Said it was urgent.

Nathan bit his lip in irritation. Hanging out with that whore again? He hasn’t said anything about that, but was now wary.

– Maybe I can give you a ride? – You don’t have a car now.

– No, I’ll be fine Nate. – I ask my other friend to collect me, she has a car.

– Got it. – Just, be careful. – Arcadia began to become a dangerous place since… you know.

– Wasn’t it always like that?

– You right. – Graduation and then, goodfuckingbye Arcadia Bay. – Nathan said and gave Hannah a rope ladder he always kept in his room for runaways.

– Thanks, – She said, and in worry, climbed down. Hannah waved at Nathan and he also waved at her with a slight smile on his face.

* * *

Hannah disappeared and Nathan stood near the window for some time, viewing the grounds. He signed and closed the window, and looking over the room.

_– Okay, change clothes and gtfo out of this place_ , – Nathan thought. While he was changing, he threw a brief glance on the photos of him and Rachel. He took one of it and looked at the photo with tears.

They were so happy there: Rachel was happy, he was happy. Nathan even noticed that Rachel was wearing the same simple bracelet she gave him, right before… That happened.

Nathan swept away his tears and prepared to leave.

Suddenly, while he was sneaking, he heard a familiar voice:

_– Nathan? – You didn’t tell you were coming home_. – His mother.

– **Shit…**


	18. Golden Cage

Nathan’s mother, Caroline Prescott was standing in front of him, with her arms crossed. She looked at him pretentiously, but with some concern. His mother seemingly just got up, but already looked confident and focused, close to looking as a threat. Looking like her husband's female clone. Nathan took a slight step back.

– “You didn’t tell me you were coming home today, Nathan”, – His mother said. – “What is the occasion for such rare visit?”

– “Yeah, don’t focus on it much, mom”. – Nathan said in hurry. – “I… Was actually leaving right now, bye!”

But his mother was not satisfied with this reply.

– “If you are already here now, let me and your father at least feed you properly”. – “I think you for sure need some normal meals after that junk food you clearly ate at Blackwell”.

– “Nah, I pass”. – Said already annoyed Nathan. Holy shit, today is **so** not his day! Now, he had to leave as soon as possible. God if only his dad would not notice…

– “ **Nathan?** ” – Nathan suddenly heard a familiar voice, that always made his heart go nuts – his father.

“ _Fucking great_ ” – He thought and turned to his father.

– “Such a surprise to see you here, son”. – His father spoke in his usual monotone voice, looking Nathan dead into the eyes.

– “Oh Sean, darling, I was just telling Nathan how he should definitely stay for breakfast, isn’t it right?”

Nathan looked how his mom was trying to press his father for something. What the fuck is this all about?

– “I agree”. – “Nathan, me and your mom wanted to talk to you about something”. – His father said and Nathan rolled his eyes. _Of course_.

– “Come on, keep us some company”. – Sean continued to talk. He took his wife by the hand and led her to the kitchen. Nathan took a deep breath – shit, now he totally is stuck here.

* * *

The three Prescotts took the seats at the table and for some time. No one made a sound, but the tension was atrocious. Nathan began to bottle up from this tension – _dad wanted to talk, so why isn’t he doing it, for fuck’s sake?_

Suddenly, his mother started talking, and to Nathan’s surprise, his mom sounded like she actually cared.

– “How are your studies doing?”. – She said with a calm, but indifferent tone. – “Is it as good as I think it is, Nathan?”

– “If that’s about that English C, then yes, they are”. – Nathan said sarcastically. His parents looked at him and shrugged this off, but with bitter faces.

Nathan smug smiled and his father looked at him with an offended face. Caroline rolled her eyes.

– “I’m serious Nathan”. – “And as an adult talking to an adult, I’m asking you to treat your studies and future like an adult”. – She said seriously.

– “Yeah mom, got it”. – Nathan mumbled and focused on the meal. His father huffed and looked at him, annoyed.

Finally, his father cleared his throat and, with calm but uncaring tone began asking questions:

– “Hope your medication course is going as planned, but I begin to doubt it”. – Sean said and Nathan’s eyes immediately wided.

– “I-It is doing okay”… – Nathan said and his voice began to tremble. His mother only made that situation more uncomfortable.

– “You have not been following some of Dr Bill’s instructions. He directly told you – **no drugs** , and what have we got?” – “An email from Wells, telling us that you were busted with using your medication as drugs” – Now, Caroline began to look disappointed and Nathan noticed it.

– “Your mother is right, Nathan”. – His father nodded and Nathan grit his teeth.

“ _Fucking great! They forced me to sit there and listening what a piece of shit I am, I fucking called for it_ ”. – Nathan thought.

He breathed in and didn’t say anything, only pressed his fists against the table. His parents looked confident, and clearly wanted the answers from him now.

– “Nathan, try to understand that you are can effectively throw away your future because of your stupid teenage antics”. – Sean continued. – “This medication is not some toys for playing - this is a serious matter and can permanently damage yours and our reputation”.

– “Hey dad”…

– “What else to you need to stop acting like this, Nathan?” – Sean asked with annoyance and a little bit of anger. – “You need more ordered medication? Constant monitoring? Taking you home?”

Nathan was just sitting there, not saying a word. He would be lying to say that he never expected it, but still, as always, those words hurt.

– “Your father is right Nathan. Tell us what you need and we bring it to you, okay? Maybe you need to sit home a little bit?”

_Oh. Fuck. No._

That means goodfuckingbye privacy! No more staying up all night, everyday drugs and skipping lessons! Also… No Hannah, Victoria or Mr Jefferson around… He would not survive this, for sure.

– “No way in hell I’m staying in this house”. – Nathan snarled. – “Okay, I’m… I’m sorry for what happened”.

Caroline shook her head, and Sean looked at Nathan with ice cold eyes.

– “So… As I got this right, you regret what you did and will never do it again?” – His mother said. Caroline was talking to Nathan in a high-end condescending manner, like he was a toddler who just broke a toy.

Nathan stuttered, and quietly said “yes”.

– “That is good to hear”. – Sean gave a satisfied look and Caroline smiled.

Nathan breathed in. Inside, he was patting himself on the back to calm down and not to explode. Not in this house, not near his father… _His father has a belt_.

– “You sure that you don’t want to stay home for a couple of months while Pan Estates is forming?”

– “No”.

– “Remember – if there are problems, I call for Dr Bill or anybody else and they ship new medications immediately”. – Caroline seriously said.

– “Yeah” … – Nathan mumbled and got up from the table.

_Fuck it_. Everything was bullshit, he never felt bad or guilty about the drugs and meds abuse.

That is just how Nathan always was – never took accountability and never questioned himself, only played a show for his folks so they leave him alone. _Just a regular shitty day…_

– “Nathan” … – Caroline tried to stop him and reached out her hand, but Nathan ignored his mother. She scoffed and turned away, annoyed.

* * *

“When I get to the dorm, I’m going to smash in drugs like crazy”. – Nathan thought and walked out of the dining room. Suddenly, when he prepared to leave, his eyes fell on the big family portrait that was hanging in the living room.

Nathan peeked at the portrait and remembered this – it was ordered not long before… Kris left. She looked so hopeful and gorgeous on it, while Nathan, as usual, ruined the whole portrait with his gloomy face. When he remembered his mom ranting about it, Nathan laughed.

_– “Mom, the portrait turned out amazing, Nathan was just being his own self. I think it’s much better than having a fake smile on your face. It ruins the photo”._ – That was what Kris said, trying to keep the peace and cheer him up? Or maybe it was something else…

Suddenly, Nathan felt someone approaching him from behind and jumped out of shock.

– “We definitely need to work on your reactions, young man”. – Sean said and was standing near him, looking at the portrait for couple of seconds. Then, he turned to Nathan.

– “You realize that you need to keep quiet for now?”

– “Yeah dad”…

– “Listen up here – I was incredibly patient with you for this couple of years. You kept and kept disappointing me. You are an adult and our heir – I’m asking you to act like one”.

Nathan began to boil, but didn’t shred a tear. After all, “crying is for pussies”. Instead, he clenched his fists tightly and faced his father.

– “So, you want me to suck it up and take fucking medication?” – Nathan snarled and Sean breathed in.

– “For now, yes. I promise, we will resume the therapy course, just not now. We need this time and energy for something else”.

– “ **Oh, fuck you then, suck a dick** ”. – Nathan mumbled and stormed out, leaving his father shocked. He jumped in his car and gave his house a middle finger.

* * *

He was riding through Arcadia, fuming and disgusted.

– “Do not let him manipulate you, Nathan, it’s okay, everything is fine” … – He was calming himself. Not under a minute, he got a dm from his mom.

* * *

– “Nathan, that was unacceptable. We are doing our best, but you are not doing yourself any good rejecting the medication – you need to resume your course”.

– “ _Thanks for this hell, mom_ ”.

– “Also: apologize to your father for what you said – that was uncalled for, you don’t speak like this to your parents. He is now covered in responsibilities and problems. Don’t be that another problem, please”.

* * *

Nathan was burning. _Another problem?!_ That what he is to his parents? **A motherfucking problem?!**

“You bet I used to that… But, it’s still… So fucking painful”.

Nathan breathed in - that talk, that attitude and that portrait reminded him what kind of family he was living in…

* * *

_Memory:_

_– **DAD!** – What the fuck are you doing with him?!_

_– Do not swear at me, Kristine Marie Prescott! – Let me deal with it, your brother had screwed up right now._

_– Why are you hitting him, stop!_

_– No more fighting! Kristine, Nathan was at fault in here – please, let your dad handle this, everything is okay._

_– No dad! Let Nate go, you are hurting him!_

_– Kristine!_

* * *

Nathan swallowed. Dad… Mom… Kris…

His sister, his best friend was in the middle of nowhere in Brazil, probably living out to her fullest. With all fun, struggles and priceless memories – something that dad’s golden gage never gotten for her.

Nathan sometimes caught himself realizing that the only happy time he had at home was his childhood – with his father, mother and Kris _actually_ being a happy family, not pretending to be one.

Kris was the light of the Prescott house – for real, she should have been the company heir. At least she is suitable, she deserves this. The little star, always knew how to cheer everyone up and bring blast to the party. Her and Hannah would surely get along great…

Nathan remembered all those little pieces of him sister and felt an uncontrollable rage.

He tried to scream, but covered it, and the scream sounded like a desperate squeezed cry, then a scream. Nathan hadn’t shed a tear – he knew he had screwed up with his parents. _Maybe they actually wanted to help?_

* * *

He felt a strong urge to destroy something – immediately, right now. His father always told him that his brains worked differently, and Nathan always knew that – that is why he loudly drove to the Two Wales Diner and smashed a name sign next to it.

He hit it again and again. Then stopped, looked up and smiled. That felt good.

– “Sorry, diner. I gave you this name, then I have as much right to destroy it”.

Nathan noticed some fish guy looking at him with disgust and a little bit of anger. He angrily gave him a middle finger and entered the diner.

He didn’t quite understand why he did that, but maybe that was the magic cute atmosphere in that place.

– “Shit can wait, me and my brain are taking a rest now. _Also - fuck you dad_ ”.


	19. Replacement

_Hannah’s point of view_

Hannah was breathing again and again. Everything was too crazy to be real - the world was spinning around her.

Not only her talk with Nathan left more questions and doubts then answers, but Chloe also told her about _what David hides in his garage_. Hannah felt horrible and disturbed when only thought about it.

“I promise I will tear David's face if I see him any time later”. – Hannah promised herself. _She was determined to find answers._

* * *

Some time had already passed, and suddenly, Hannah noticed Chloe’s truck heading towards her. She gave a joke sign and Chloe opened the door.

– “Get in Han”. – Chloe was smiling, but that smile only poorly covered the annoyance in her tone.

Hannah also waved to Max, whose head she saw in the window.

– “Hi Hannah”. – Max also smiled and Hannah already noticed by Max’s hand, that she looked… Different.

Hannah, despite some thought, brushed it off and got in, taking her usual backseat. She looked around and leaned on a pirate flag that was covering the seats.

The three girls took a peek on the Prescott manor, and drew off.

* * *

– “I can’t believe what that pornstashe moron did”. – Chloe rambled.

– “Yeah, the motherfuckery is real”. – Said Hannah. – “Files on **who** your stepdad has again?!”

– “ **Nathan, Max, Kate, you and Rachel** ” – Chloe could barely say those words out loud. She sounded scared.

– “Here”. – Max handed Hannah her printed photos of David’s documented files on each of the ones Chloe named. Hannah grabbed the photos and began to look over. She immediately felt sick to her stomach.

“ _That Hitler had been stalking me?! And not only me... Max, Kate, Nate, Rachel. Holy hell_ ”.

On Hannah’s file, David was remarking on how she was a “drug crime accomplice”. Accomplice?

– “Maybe that bastard thinks that me and Nathan are criminals? And I’m helping him? Like, bullshit. Does this dude understands what friendships mean?”

Hannah put away the photos and spoke to the Chloe, who was awfully silent.

– “What are we going to do about it?”

– “Now nothing”. – Max suddenly replied, even if Hannah was asking Chloe. She was genuinely surprised by Max’s reaction.

– “Nothing?!”

– “Yeah. From now on, we focus 100% on finding Rachel, even if I want to tear my stepfuck’s fucking face off”. – Chloe said and it made Hannah enrage.

_Again. Again, Rachel was the top priority, as always_. Hannah felt horrible even thinking like this about a missing person, but she couldn’t help it.

– “Chloe. Maybe we call the police on your step ass? Or do something else about it?” – Hannah said in a cold tone.

– “I think it would be better to focus on finding Rachel now”. – Max sheepishly said and Hannah breathed in. – “I think we can deal with this later, after we find her”.

– “Yeah” … – Hannah mumbled and turned away from the window.

She closed her eyes and tried to hide that she was scared, that was slowly growing into genuine paranoia.

* * *

After some time, Hannah felt that the truck has stopped. She opened her eye and noticed that they parked near the Two Wales Diner.

– “Get out”. – Chloe said, and confused Hannah got out from the truck. When she got out, she finally managed to see Max in full. Her heart immediately sank.

**Max was standing in front of her, wearing Rachel’s clothes**. Hannah blinked and for a second, saw Max’s face turning into Rachel’s. Rachel’s face smiled and disappeared. Max looked at Hannah, who took some steps back.

– “M-Max? Why are you wearing this?!”

– “Huh? Chloe lent me some of Rachel’s outfit”. – Max said, confused by Hannah’s reaction.

Hannah angrily glanced at Chloe, but Chloe dropped everything and turned her back on both Max and Hannah.

– “Cm’on, let’s just go”. – Chloe lurked Max by her shoulder and also tried to do that with Hannah. She dodged.

– “Not now”. – Hannah mumbled and continue to stand where she is. Max looked at her for a moment, but left with Chloe, allowing Hannah to cool off.

Hannah leaned onto the truck and began trembling and sweating. Flashing images of Rachel were popping here and there in her memory.

_– “Holy shit Max, I can’t believe this”…_

Only now she noticed how similar Rachel and Max actually were. Similar figure, exact same height, they even moved and smiled similarly…

And it was genuinely scary for her.  
  
Hannah breathed in again, and calmed down. After that she had a strong urge to slap herself over her stupid reaction.

_– “What the hell was I thinking, acting like is in front of Chloe? She now thinks you are a freak Han, “good” job on trying to get her back. Snap out of it and go help”._ – Hannah was thinking and quickly went to Max and Chloe.

– “Great, you are back, Hannah!” – Chloe had greeted Hannah with a smile. – “So, the team is now ready”.

Man cleared her throat and began explaining the plan.

– “The mission – get Frank’s keys, sneak into his RV and learn what does he had to do with Rachel”.

Hannah swallowed. _Frank Bowers – Rachel’s lover_. That is why Chloe and max were so crazy about the keys and getting the information out. Getting the truth about Rachel out - finally. Finally, no more of this secret.

She breathed in and looked at Chloe. Keeping that secret for almost a year… Hannah was slightly glad that at least _this_ rock would be lifted from her shoulders.

– “Okay, there I go Chloe, Hannah”. – Max said with confidence, looking and sounding more and more like Rachel. Hannah raised her eyebrow, looking at Chloe again, but with grain of salt in her stare.

– “You really don’t need our help, Max? I can be useful, at least”. – Hannah tried to joke and even fake-laughed.

– “No Hannah, for reals, I can do this myself. But… Thanks for your offer”.

– “Good luck, SuperMax. Me and Han will look for something meanwhile, ok?”

– “As always”. – Hannah remarked and turned away.

* * *

When Max left, Hannah checked out the surroundings and turned to Chloe, with intend of talking about something _very serious._

– “Hey, why are you standing like a statue? Go help – Frank has a hella dangerous dog in his little home, and we need some way to deal with him – don’t want to be left without an arm".

– “Not now Chloe”. – Hannah randomly cut her off. – “I have to talk to you about **really** serious and disturbing”.

Chole looked confused, but still listened to her friend. Hannah breathed in and looked at Chloe with a small bit of anger in her eyes.

– “Chloe. What kind of little mind games are you playing with Max?”

– “Excuse me, what?”

– “ _Constantly talking about Rachel with her, now Max is wearing Rachel’s clothes_? What is going on here?” – Hannah pressed Chloe, and she was taken aback.

– “Idiot says what?”

– “I’m talking about the obvious. Why are you loading Max so much about Rachel – she hasn’t even met her, like ever”.

Chloe’s face immediately changed from confused, to angry. She stared at Hannah.

– “I don’t know what is your fucking problem, but that is not the case, dumbass”. – Chloe turned away.

– “ **My problem is that Max isn’t Rachel, but you are trying to think that she is. You are trying to replace her** ”. – Hannah blurted out.

Hannah hated that. She hated that Max reminded her of Rachel so much, and Chloe only made everything worse. It even looked to her that Chloe was _encouraging_ it. Hannah even began thinking the worst.

Chloe’s eyes wided.

Chloe was uncomfortable and began trying to avoid the topic. 

– “Wh… What the fuck, Han”. – “I think of Max as Max, and Rachel as Rachel, ‘nuff said”.

– “ _I call BS_ ”.

– “I just want to get my best friend back, that’s all. And the clothes? It was just an offer and our Max took it. Got it, Little Miss Conspiracy Theorist? Do you need me to take off you little tinfoil cap off for you to understand clearly?”

Chloe huffed and turned away. Hannah wanted to press for more, but decided it would be better to drop everything for now. She breathed in and closed her eyes.

“ _Rachel is…_ “ _Chloe’s best friend”. Then who is Max to her? A_ _replacement?_ ”

Hannah was trying to understand, if she was right about her thoughts. Maybe she was _and Chloe was actually trying to replace Rachel?_

She better not, but Hannah, deep down believed that Chloe would never do that.

The whole time together, Chloe was angry and moody. Hannah realized that she massively screwed up. She tried to move closer to Chloe, but only received cold stares.

– “I don’t think you need to talk to someone who “tries to replace Rachel” for now, Hannah”. – Chloe replied angrily and suddenly kneeled.

She took out a big chewing bone and picked it up, slightly grinning.

– “That can help”. – She said and hid the bone behind her back. The two girls leaned onto the RV, but Chloe moved away from Hannah as far away as she could.

Hannah breathed in. She just wanted the best for Chloe, and put all of herself into it. Only that… She was worried and afraid.

After some small time when they didn’t talk to each other, Hannah decided to try and talk to Chloe. She can believe everything she wants, but she accepted that that statement about “replace” was too overboard.

– “Hey Chloe, we really have to talk about what is happening. I know that you are hurt, but this is not the solution”.

– “Not everyone needs your lil’ therapy advice, especially me. You are not reading me lectures or ranting about some shit you invented yourself, got it?”

– “Chloe, maybe you would stop being such a bit-“

– “Hannah! Chloe! I’m back”. – The sudden appear of Max cut Hannah off. Chloe immediately went towards her. Max proudly waved her stolen keys and Hannah nodded on approval.

* * *

– “Wow, Chloe didn’t call you SuperMax out of nothing. Great job”. – She smiled and didn’t even question how Max even got the keys.

– “You bet she is - the Amazing SpiderMax”. – Chloe jokingly said and patted Max on the shoulder. – “Also - look what I got. Now Frank’s dog, beware – we are coming with this dangerously tasty treat!”

Hannah took out the bone from Chloe and stood near the door, getting read. She heard the loud repeated barks and got ready.

Max twisted the key and a big dog immediately jumped out. Hannah recognized the dog – it was Frank Bowers’s Pompidu.

Hannah, not even thinking twice, threw the bone on the parking lot under the parked bus. Chloe began to laugh and Hannah chuckled on Max’s reaction, who was trembling a little – it was clear that she was afraid of dogs.

Hannah gave Max a fake, cute smile and they three entered Frank’s RV. Now, Hannah was afraid, _genuinely afraid_.

It felt like forever since she learned about, and was forced to hide Rachel’s secret about her hidden relationship from everybody in her life. _And hiding the truth from Chloe was the thing that harmed Hannah the most_.

_“What if Chloe realizes that I know? She would definitely hate me forever for hiding everything...”_ – That was always Hannah’s logic. Everything looked alright and Hannah preferred it to stay that way. 

But now, the new unraveled facts about Frank and Rachel can ruin everything Hannah had planned. Damn Max and damn Chloe’s Step gesu yarō! Still... Hannah was happy they are going to learn about the truth, gladly not from someone else.

Not from **her** , Hannah, who lied to her friend's face for half of the year...

Chloe has to know everything about her so-called “angel”. **Maybe that way, _only maybe_ Chloe can finally understand the truth?**


End file.
